12/8/22 12/8/22

Gossip: No Need to Pass it On

I was raised not to spread “gossip.” It is so easy to spread the latest tidbit of someone we know. There is almost a wicked deliciousness of passing the rumors of the moral, the failures, or other not-so-good circumstances of someone else.

Of course, when we realize gossip, and rumors—true or not—have been shared about our own circumstances, we feel embarrassed, angry, and betrayed. Yet our own conversations don’t seem that harmful. We lower our voices to catch the attention of our groups, feeling good because we are the focus. “Have you heard about….?” Then proceed to share what we know or think we know, usually without checking our sources to confirm the truth about what we’re passing on. Of course, that tidbit will continue to be passed on, and, if not true, can cause someone hurt, loss of friendships, or worse.

Prayer groups can end up being gossip sessions. In the name of seeking prayer, we may lay out the whole scenario. I’ve known friends who’ve been very hurt when that person shared something confidential with a good friend only to have that individual share it with her prayer group—without permission. In a flash, the whole church knew of the situation. Never again would my friend trust that other person and a friendship would never quite be the same.

Recently acquaintances were starting to ask questions about a person who seemed to have dropped out of our lives. At a small gathering geared for fun and fellowship, someone asked the hostess, who might know if anyone did, about this individual. I could tell from the tone, the women had serious concerns. The room went dead silent, telling me the questioner wasn’t the only one concerned.

The hostess cleared her throat. She could have laid out what she knew. Instead, she spoke quietly “Make it a matter of prayer.” That was all we needed to know. We could pray. No need to spread gossip. Why do any of us need to lay it all out? After all, God knows the situation and we can pray and leave the situation in His hands. Why can’t we all handle those situations so diplomatically?

I think I’ll follow this pattern. Instead of passing on all the details, I will simply pray. If someone craves more details, I’ll simply direct them to pray as well. How much better our lives and our relationships would be if we learned to check the information we hear and not pass on more than necessary and keep our mouths zipped as we bow instead to lift up the person and/or situation to the One who already knows and can do something about it.

A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. --Proverbs 16:28 NIV

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. --Proverbs 11:13 NIV

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. --Ephesians 4:29

If I want to stop gossip, it has to start with how I handle sensitive information. Time I zip the lip and bow my head instead. That is true caring.

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11/30/22 11/30/22

If it isn’t your work, ask before using

Most of us who write, also like to read. When reading, we find quotes, information, and facts that inform and inspire us. Sometimes we keep that information handy or even memorize a favorite passage. Most authors enjoy knowing what they write inspires someone. I know getting an email or phone call about one of my columns or books is an encouragement, and better than having someone tear what I wrote or my point-of-view to shreds—which has also happened.

Earlier this year, I received a book in the mail. The book was about health and fitness. I hadn’t ordered it, though it looked interesting. I used to receive unsolicited books all the time when I was a book reviewer. But I hadn’t been in that business for ten years or more.

I thumbed through the book. As I did so, I came across a quote from one of my books The God Connection. The author made clear the passage inspired her, thus her use of it in her own book. It was even correctly listed in her bibliography. I’m sure the author believed I’d be excited to have my quote in her book. My response was more complicated than that.

There is a line between enjoying a piece of material, being inspired, and then using the quote in something the author has written and is offering for sale to others. I’ve used quotes from any number of authors, especially in my book Help! I’m a New Mother. However, for every quote, every piece of material used, I contacted the authors for permission. I used nothing for which I wasn’t given specific permission.

That is the point. Writing isn’t a hobby for me. It has been my career. This means I want a say in where and when my material is used. Once something is written, it belongs solely to the author. The author can give or sell some or all rights for publication purposes, but it is the author’s choice of what, when and how.

What the author of the book in which she used my material without permission didn’t realize is that in using my material without my permission, she wasn’t giving me a compliment, she was in essence and legally stealing from me. This goes for photos and graphics as well as text. In this easy-access internet world, it is often simple to cut and paste a quote online into something a person is writing. That doesn’t make it legal or right.

Whether you are writing a book, feature, story, or blog, think before using the material from an author or artist, or photographer. Would you like your work used in ways you may not even agree with? It can even lead to that creator losing rights to their own work.

My advice to budding authors is to work hard and learn your craft. Also, learn and abide by legal rights accorded you and other creators. Most of all, if you wish to use another creator’s material, PLEASE ask, and receive permission. We all benefit from basic courtesy.

Published Kearney Hub 11/29/2022

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11/29/22 11/29/22

Bio First Real Snow

Unsplash: ***Martina De Marchena@letstakeapicture***

During the night the wind howled. We woke up to a thin covering of snow on the ground this morning. It is not only cold outside, it looks and feels cold even inside. Part of that is knowing what cold feels like. After all, I was born in Minnesota and lived my first few years in Canada, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. These places had very long winters with deep snow and short summers with lots of irritating mosquitoes.

My sister’s birthday is in September. She was always disappointed if the first snow didn’t hit before her birthday. Karin loves snow. She wasn’t happy when we moved to eastern Wyoming where there wasn’t much snow. To her horror, we didn’t even always have snow for Christmas. When we did have a good amount of snow, it didn’t stay. Warm chinook winds swept down and melted the snow away. Which was OK by me.

It’s not that I minded the snow. I liked having some around in the Winter. I didn’t like having to bundle up in heavy coat, mittens, hat, and scarf, not to mention boots. I could scarcely move all bundled up. I did enjoy sledding down steep hills, creating snowpersons, and lying down to make snow angels.

I like the layer of snow we have today. It will be gone soon. But when real deep snow comes, I’ll leave playing in it, even walking in it, up to the younger set. I’m not the fan of snow my sister is, but I can enjoy it from behind my large front window. Then I am thankful I can stay unbundled, inside—and warm.

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11/17/22 11/17/22

Don’t spend the holidays alone—reach out

Temperatures are cooling outside. Getting downright cold in the mornings. Fall has sneaked up on us. Winter is not far behind. With the change in seasons to fall and, soon, winter, we turn our thoughts to family gatherings.

The Scheidies family likes getting together, though that was much simpler when there were fewer of us. Now we have siblings—my husband Keith and his brothers and sister, kids, grandkids, and even great-grandkids. It makes for quite a household when we gather together at the family farm near Minden. Of course, on the farm, when it isn’t too cold, kids can play outside with uncles giving rides on the four-wheeler or even on a burro. We have found we have more room at the Mitzi Pavilion at Yanney Park. We do both—gather at the farm Saturday night. and gather someplace in Kearney, often the Pavilion, for Sunday morning brunch.

My family is much smaller, and we are more far-flung so don’t get together as often. Still, my sister-in-law lives a few blocks south of us in Kearney, and my sister, her kids, and grandkids live in Kansas. Other relatives live in Minnesota, California, and other places.

Even so, sometimes Keith and I find ourselves alone for some holidays as our kids have other relatives and plans. We often include my brother Paul’s widow. In fact, we sometimes invite friends over to play board games and offer snacks for supper.

I know Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve are difficult times to be alone. This may happen when someone has no family left or family too far away. Sometimes, in the case of our daughter, every other year it is her husband’s family year to have them for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Holidays can get lonely, and it is easy to slide into feeling bad and depressed.

But we don’t have to turn joyful holidays into times of sadness. One couple I know planned holidays around those who would otherwise spend holidays alone. They’d invite these individuals home and hold a regular feast.

We all have friends, acquaintances, and even family who might be alone. We can change that. We don’t have to be depressed and lonely. We can reach out to others who, for whatever reason, are spending a holiday alone. Might be a neighbor, someone from church, a family member or friend. Make an effort to reach out. Invite them to your house or make plans to meet at a restaurant. Is someone not in good health? Take them a meal and stay to visit for a while.

By looking beyond ourselves we find fulfillment and the very joy of the holiday as we reach out, deepen, or make new friendships. Thinking of others helps us take the focus off ourselves and helps us realize how blessed we truly are.

Don’t spend the holidays alone—reach out.

Kearney Hub column published 11/16/22

11/15/22 11/15/22

Blog Bio: Joy and Strength

Recently we attended our youngest grandchild’s 4th birthday celebration. I took lots of pictures. The celebration guests were family, cousins, little friends, and their parents.

Zeke isn’t just into dinosaurs, he knows the different names. If you show him a picture of a dinosaur and say, this is a dinosaur.” He’ll say, “No, that’s a..” and provide the specific name of that particular dinosaur. It is the same for trucks and construction equipment. He’s four! No wonder his cake was topped with construction equipment and dinosaurs.

Of course, he received toys he enjoyed from trucks, including remote-controlled ones, to a walking, roaring dinosaur. There was much laughter and smiles as he opened his gifts, said thank you, and gave hugs to the giver.

Overall, the party wasn’t about cake or gifts. It was people who cared about coming together to bring joy to a little boy. The house was filled with joy. Zeke shared with his sister and his guests.

There was joy in that house. We love to visit and not only for birthdays or holidays. The home is filled with smiles and joy. A testament to parents who love and share Jesus, who is the embodiment of joy.

We are blessed. I am thankful true strength isn’t in bullying others or in focusing on things instead of individuals. Strength comes from a joy that radiates from deep inside as we follow Jesus as Lord, Savior, Friend and guide.

God’s Word says it best. “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10c

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11/8/22 11/8/22

Blog Bio I said “No!” to repainting the walls

***Photo by*** ***JOSHUA COLEMAN*** on ***Unsplash***

As I sit at the dining table with my laptop, I look up at the walls. From here I can see parts of the kitchen, hall, and living room walls. While I have an office, I prefer working here where I can look out the window at the park and not feel closed in.

A while ago my sister was helping me decorate and said she’d be glad to repaint the walls. I shook my head, “No!” I’m not ready to change my walls. While faux painting might not be the latest fashion any longer, I love my walls. Looking at these walls brings back many positive memories.

When the walls were painted, our kids were teens and didn’t need all that much supervision. We also were headed out to a Fredrickson Family Reunion in Northern Minnesota. In fact, we took over the whole resort for the week. It was a wonderful week of food, family, boating, swimming, games, and, of course, shopping.

While we were gone, our friends made plans. Paul, the PA for my orthopedist, and Paul’s wife were both close friends. At that time, we had a circle of close friends. Since I would be coming home for surgery in the near future, which would keep me housebound for a while, our friends decided our house could use a makeover. While we were gone, they cleaned did some minor repairs, and sponge-painted the walls, and, from what they said later, had a fun time doing so. Our friends had planned to finish up and put everything back before we arrived home.

We had no idea our friends planned to do this. We also had planned to take our time coming home, breaking up the fifteen-hour drive into two days. But, once we got on the road, we didn’t want to stop. All we wanted to do was be home. We took food and other breaks, but we didn’t stop for the night.

It was late by the time we arrived home. I think our son Chris took the key and opened the front door. We followed him in. We stared at our house. Remember furniture hadn’t been put back in place as yet. In confusion, we backed out again and checked our address. Was this our house? Yes, it was. Entering again, we stared at all that had been accomplished that week. It felt like a new house.

How could we even begin to thank our friends for all they’d done for us? We couldn’t, but we could give thanks and accept the blessing they’d provided. Our friends were so excited to see our response. No, I am not ready to repaint my walls. I may have those memories stored inside my heart but seeing them every day also reminds me to give thanks for friends and their willingness to take their time and effort—and money—to redo our home.

Despite the hurts and sorrows of life, we can look up and be thankful when we take time to remember those walls in our lives and count our blessings.

Published in Kearney Hub as my column 11/08/2022

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10/31/22 10/31/22

Poetry The Message

***Photo by*** ***Efrain Maldonado*** on ***Unsplash***

Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew 5:16

If only I could tell the world,
The message of salvation free,
Of God's own Son who came to earth,
To die at Calvary.

If only I might spread His Word,
To each and every person on this earth,
To tell them of Jesus and His love,
Would be more than gold in worth.

But I will write the message,
I shall share the simple message true,
That Jesus died and rose again,
To give us life anew.

Lord, give me the skill and the courage to share your love with others. Amen.

From Journey of Faith

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10/28/22 10/28/22

Blog Bio Bills, IRS and frustration

Ever dealt with the IRS, Social Security, or Medicare departments? We certainly have.

When my husband Keith retired, he had factors in his retirement that didn’t fit the stock-in-trade answers, forms or help from Social Security and Medicare. Going online was useless. Calling wasn’t much better. We needed to speak with a real live person. Like that was simple. Finding the right number was not easy. We’d call and get rerouted until we cycled back to the beginning. That worked well! (Heavy sarcasm.)

Find another number. “There is a high volume of calls. Please leave your phone number and we will return your call.” Or maybe not. Wait. Wait. Wait. Don’t start any big project. Wait. Wait. Wait. Call back. Is this a bad joke?

Try staying on the line. Forty-five to an hour or more later, and if you are not disconnected, someone might answer your call. I don’t know how many times we tried to contact the right agent to no avail. If we did get through, the agent didn’t have a clue how to deal with our particular need. “Call your local office,” we were told. For us in Kearney, that means Grand Island. I found a couple of numbers. Calling GI wasn’t any more available than the national office.

Time was running out. We got in the car and drove to GI early in the morning so we could be one of the first in line. Face-to-face, we did get help with our unusual situation. Certainly, didn’t want to deal with that again.

Several years later. When Keith’s dad died, we received an inheritance. We did have to make a payment, which we did, though it was a little late. That was last January. I have a printout of the canceled check. In September this year, we received two bills for interest. It wasn’t that much, but we each received a bill, though we file jointly. We had paid everything asked of us so why the bill? It made no sense. I wondered if it was some sort of scam. Our daughter checked and it was legitimate, but was it a mistake? Were they charging interest on money already paid in full?

We needed to contact the IRS for answers. I checked the website. Less than no help. I called. “High volume. Please call back tomorrow.”

I gritted my teeth. Where could I go for answers? Oh, but we had a meeting with our financial advisor scheduled. I brought him the documents. He looked things over and first said they sent each of us a bill for interest, but there was only one charge. He suggested sending back both bills with one check—especially since only Keith’s social security number was on both. He explained what might have happened.

It doesn’t answer why we were charged some of that interest AFTER the check went through. I followed our advisor’s suggestions, but I added a synopsis of the amended return and a copy of the processed check along with a note. Now we wait and hope we never hear about this again. If not—I might have to try and make another call. I do wonder why we have to fund such an inefficient government when so much of our taxes are spent on things that do not benefit the hard-working citizens who have to pay for this government’s out-of-control spending.

Time to vote in those who don’t just talk, but actually start budgeting and spending money wisely.

Kearney Hub column published 10/22/2022

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10/25/22 10/25/22

Blog Bio October is all about the spooky.

During this October season, stores are filled with skeletons, monsters, demonic characters, witches, and more. These items displayed in stores and catalogs are available for decorating home or yard. Costumes follow the same pattern.

We are encouraged to participate in this holiday which grows in importance every year. It is also the one holiday we celebrate that does not lift up. This holiday actually celebrates all that is dark, pagan, demonic, and evil.

The title Halloween comes from an attempt hundreds of years ago to redeem this celebration of all things evil. The church tried to turn attention away from paganism to Christian saints calling it All Hallows Eve—which has become Halloween. Such a move was only partially successful.

When I was a child, this holiday was not a big economic boon for markets. It was more of a fun night to dress up in homemade costumes, I was usually a hobo. My friends and I went house to house and gathered a bucket load of candy. You could only find a few Halloween items in the stores that were more focused on fall harvest than Halloween.

There were always pumpkins—usually from someone’s garden. No expensive costumes. As years passed, this holiday became more pronounced—and more dangerous. Part of the blame is from a culture turning away from the light of Christ, part from horror books and movies available.

The question for Christ-followers is—how do we deal with this celebration of darkness? Do we participate along with everyone else, or do we use the holiday to celebrate light? In the past, I’ve handed out candy, pencils, colorful bookmarks, and tracts about Jesus. Some hold parties with fun costumes that do not hark back to darkness and monsters. Churches have done something similar. Jesus calls us to be lights in the darkness. How will we be His light this Halloween?

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10/19/22 10/19/22

Blog Computers, Frustration and Gratitude

***Photo by*** ***Glenn Carstens-Peters*** on ***Unspl**ash***

How many of us get frustrated with our home and work on computers, not to mention phones and iPads? We grumble because they are too slow. Then there are the error messages that drive us nuts, often, because the error messages don’t make sense or don’t provide enough information to correct the problem. As for battery life, there is never enough.

I take battery life seriously. In my purse, I carry cords and a plugin for my phone and iPad. I have any number of chargers. On one trip to our daughters. (It was Keith & me, Kurt & Cassie and her family, Kurt’s brother Grant & Tami and kids, and Tami’s mom visiting.) For some reason, I packed all my chargers. When the electricity went out in much of the Omaha area, my charges kept our phones going.

For all the frustration, it dissipates when I recall the early days of personal computers. We had tapes instead of drives. Those first computers didn’t even have hard drives and the first ones would horrify today’s users who expect mega gigs of storage. We couldn’t afford the price of games for our kids so Keith, painstakingly, entered data from the magazines of the time, often taking more than one day to do so.

As for vulnerability, we didn’t worry about hacking. Shoot! We could lose data, even the whole computer when the lights flickered. A friend and I were working on their Apple C when the electricity went out. Scared us. While we were concerned about the newsletter we were working on, we prayed the computer itself hadn’t been damaged. For years, we were told to turn off computers if it stormed—especially an electrical storm. Now we do nothing. (BTW, the computer and our newsletter were OK.)

Today, we have great programs, lots of storage and, compared to those early years, our computers are lightning quick. I’ve decided when those frustrations come with my computer devices today, I need to remember, let go of my complaints and frustrations, and simply give thanks.

Maybe I need to choose to do the same with other complaints as well. It would sure lower my stress levels. How about you?

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10/14/22 10/14/22

Blog Kinsey and the sexual assault on kids in schools & libraries

At one time the Kinsey report was considered the last word in human sexuality. Yet, years ago the report was revealed to be a fraud. It was anything but scientific.

What I hadn’t realized was the depth of evil Kinsey and his cohorts stooped to. I knew the report was skewed because he used prison inmates in the study of normal/average experiences and responses. I didn’t realize the horrors children, even babies suffered.

Kinsey reported children experience orgasms from birth. He reported orgasms in children. He actually used pedophiles to rape young children—repeatedly. These men were taught how to write up the results of these rapes in scientific terms. Of course, they reported the children enjoyed the experience.

Kinsey used these so-called findings to fight for laws that released these predators with a slap on the wrist. He said sexual molestation of children actually helped their sexual development and the problem was not the rapist predators, but parents and police trying to protect the children.

What was not asked was his definition of orgasm in children. Now we know. He said it was when these kids cried, screamed, and tried to get away from their partners (read rapists). Some even went into convulsions. He called these orgasms. Any sane person would call these children tortured, traumatized who were trying to escape a horrific situation.

Worse. These predators were allowed to assault not only children but also babies. Yes, babies. It’s all in his charts. Over a full day a four-month, that’s right a four-month-old baby was repeatedly assaulted. So-called orgasms were numerous leaving little time for this infant to have time to sleep or eat. Consider the body of a four-month-old and the repeated invasions from an adult male. Think of the enormous pain and, most likely, physical damage done.

These kids were subjected to graphic portrayals of sex. It makes me think of the books many school and public libraries are offering young children today.

Kinsey was a monster who did a lot to convince state governments to soften laws of protection of women and children. He lied and we’re still picking up the pieces that began with his horror show of the repeated rape and assault of helpless children. And he had the audacity to declare these screaming children enjoyed it.

Where were parents, protection for these kids? We know graphic depictions are used by pedophiles to groom children for sexual assault. I have to wonder about school officials, teachers, and even pastors who are fighting to get this material into our schools and available to kids. Are they simply a modern version of Kinsey? Pretty frightening. Are we going to allow Kinsey’s evil to continue to assault our children? Or will we stand up and insist such material has no place in our schools?

Kinsey destroyed the innocence of hundreds of kids. Are we going to protect our own now or allow public schools and libraries to destroy the innocence of our children by allowing pornographic material that grooms our children for sexual assault?

It starts with doing our own research, being involved in what our children and grandchildren are being taught, and what they are reading or being shown in media presentations. It is also important to vote for school boards and others in authority who truly care about our kids. What will you do?

I recommend watching Kinsey Syndrome.

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9/30/22 9/30/22

Blog The Problem with Christian heroines

When I started reading mysteries as a young teen, I looked for strong, independent female characters. I found them in authors such as Phyllis Whitney, Mary Stewart, and Victoria Holt and others. But these were authors who wrote beyond a genre. Many books of the period were meant for quick reads. Both mysteries and romances weren’t meant to be great literature.

Many of the heroines in these books were weak, easily frightened and, if given a choice, made the wrong one. They would do stupid like going off alone into a dark forest, a lonely run-down home, etc. I’d shake my head at their stupidity.

Then came the women’s movement and women determined to stand up for themselves. This trend has greatly influenced our female characters in good and not-so-good ways.

These days, when I read fiction, mysteries and romances, I mostly read Christian fiction. Not every author creates heroines as I describe here. In fact, there are many authors who write women who seem to live and breathe in their fictional settings.

However, too many of the female heroines in the books I read these days are drawn so strong and independent that they are stubborn, and refuse to listen to even good advice, They don’t forgive easily and do things their way regardless of the consequences to others. They are more likely to tell God to help than ask and follow His direction.

And they still do stupid--going off by themselves, etc. even if they have a bodyguard or someone who is trying to keep them safe. They walk alone into dangerous situations, putting themselves, who they want to save, and those watching out for them in danger.

These women claim to follow Christ, but, by their words and actions, they depend only on themselves. You can’t tell them anything without receiving a negative response. “Can’t tell me what to do!” Sometimes I’d like to see the hero tell them off rather than cower, unable to think around these women.

Truth? Women can follow the Lord, be strong, even up to a point, independent. Yet Godly women should also be humble, listen, wait for God's timing and direction and, at least, be willing to forgive, and hear the whole story…. They should not be applauded for “spunk,” when they endanger themselves and/or others--even if the situation turned out OK.

I realize a character needs to grow and change during the course of the story, learning, growing in attitudes, faith, etc. along the way. Yet, even when everything is nicely resolved in the end, it is hard for a reader to change one’s opinion when the character begins with some very dominate unlikable traits/behaviors.

I created a hero in one of my books that had so many negative characteristics and behaviors, I wanted to kill him off. I started at the beginning and redrew a hero who made some bad choices but wasn’t unlikeable. Maybe it’s time we do that with some of our overly independent heroines. Why not create women, who, even in awful situations past or present, show a Godly as well as a softer human side?

2022 Carolyn R Scheidies

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9/21/22 9/21/22

Blog Bio Seasons, Life and Attitude

Didn’t the year 2022 just begin? What whirlwind happened to send us into the future at such a dizzying pace? A day might seem to go on forever at times until you blink and the day, a week, a month has whipped by.

Winter, Spring, and Summer three seasons disappeared into the past. We held celebrations of birthdays and graduations, had a Scheidies family gathering, and much more. Our youngest granddaughter had her first dance recital. To which, of course, both sets of grandparents came to town to attend, converging from Kearney and Minnesota on Papillon. My husband Keith celebrated his 70th birthday with family and friends. Our oldest granddaughter graduated from high school so, of course, we had to celebrate that milestone.

I look back at days of sunshine and storms. Days when I got things done and days when one thing after another interfered with my schedule, leaving me frustrated, and wondering where all the time went. The cold of winter finally eased into the panting heat of summer. Short sleeves helped cool us off. Yesterday I realized we are, already it seems, heading into fall and winter. I woke up cold. The weather reported temperatures in the 70s, but not until late afternoon.

No, the morning was in the 50s and 60s, when, as I pointed out to my husband, we’d be going to church. No short sleeves for me. Brr. I wore a warmer long sleeve turtleneck covered with a flannel vest. I was still cold. Before going out I added a jacket and kept it on all during church. The year is moving on and at warp speed. I cannot stop time or the clock. We were young not so long ago. Now we are old. We had energy to burn, but not so much now. Much has changed.

However fast or slow life happens, I can still meet each day with gratitude. I can count my blessings. From this vantage point, I realize how even difficult circumstances helped me become who I am and were the foundation for many blessings I enjoy today.

My life is centered not on the passing of seasons, years, or time, but on a faith that guides my todays and my tomorrows. Whatever the date on the calendar, I rise with a verse on my tongue, “This is the day the Lord has made, we (I) will rejoice and be glad in it.” —Psalms 118:24 NKJV

An attitude of gratitude makes all the difference.

Kearney Hub Column Published 9/20/2022

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9/13/22 9/13/22

Blog Bio Trip, a surprise and Star trek

Keith had an idea. He wanted to surprise Jeff and Gloria Geiselman who’ve been our friends since college. Whenever we’ve needed help, they’ve always been there. It was more than that. The surprise had to do with an interest we all had in common. It included a special trip after Jeff retired. Once we knew when he was officially retired, we booked the trip—many months in advance. “Save the date,” Keith told Jeff and Gloria.

Late August we packed everything into our car and headed out. They knew we planned to eat in Omaha, so Jeff drove that first lap. Keith took over after that stop. We headed mainly east on I-80. I knew Gloria needed to know how to pack, so I’d already shared we were headed to a Casino Resort with a pool, hot tub and spa.

We talked, laughed, remembered incidences and friends from the past. Back in college, I was in a wheelchair and the guys took good care of me and included me. After my extensive surgery and relearning to walk, Jeff and Gloria were always ready to lend an arm when I needed more support. Now we’re geezers and Keith isn’t as steady on his feet as he once was.

Eventually Keith told them we were going to Riverside Iowa. That didn’t ring a bell and he asked them not to check on their phones. Even when we arrived and settled into very nice connecting rooms, they had no clue. We were all Star Trek fans. Before and after we married, we got together to watch episodes of Star Trek as well as shows that came out of that original show.

Keith revealed the secret. We brought them to the future birthplace of Captain James T Kirk. In the series, Kirk always claimed his home was Iowa. Riverside became that home. The next day we headed to the Star Trek museum with all things Kirk and Star Trek. No one else was visiting so Alex who was in charge spent his time talking to us and showing us around.

We took pictures of the command chair, the transporter, and much more. Alex even came outside with us to take a picture of us in front of the large mockup of the Enterprise. It was so much fun to share that experience with our friends.

This was also Amish country where horses and buggies were not uncommon on the road. We ate delicious ice cream at an Amish creamery, shopped at unique stores, and later enjoyed supper at a steak house. By then we were ready to return to the resort, I was out of steam, but the others grabbed their swimsuits and went swimming in the indoor/outdoor pool.

After long days, it wasn’t hard to sleep. The third day, it was time to head home, which we did after breakfast. After all, it was a 6 ½ hour drive home. On the way, we found some unique eating places to take breaks and eat. By the time we drove by exits for Grand Island, talk had died down. The only sound came from the radio.

We were tired and ready to be home. We gave thanks for a safe trip, a fun trip, and time together with good friends. We made good memories and took lots of pictures. I am glad we were able to do the trip and surprise our friends. Now we can look back, remember and smile.

What can you do to make good memories for family, friends, or even a total stranger? Try it. Make some good memories of your own.

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9/9/22 9/9/22

Blog Bio Air Conditioning and Gratitude

***Photo by*** ***Raychan*** on ***Unsplash***

I didn’t grow up with air conditioning. When we lived in Siren, Wisconsin when I was 5-7 years old, the humidity was almost unbearable during the summer months. Wisconsin has lakes dotted all over. Some lakes were good for fishing, some for swimming and some were little more than swamps—and dangerous at that.

Back in the late fifties, we didn’t even think about air conditioning. When we wanted to cool off we headed to one of the lakes that bracketed our small town. There were no lifeguards and parents didn’t always go with their kids. In fact, we younger children often went with our older siblings.

Eastern Wyoming didn’t have an abundance of lakes or rivers. Many creek beds remained dry except during Spring run-off. Humidity wasn’t a problem. But temperatures often climbed over the 100% mark. Still, without moisture, the temperatures didn’t feel near as hot as much lower temperatures felt in Wisconsin.

The nearest swimming pool was 30 miles away in Lusk. Our folks took us to swim a few times during the summer. Where we lived water was not abundant, so we didn’t just turn on the hose to cool off. Best stay in the shade instead.

Every place I lived as a child was a bit different, but air conditioning was never part of the equation, though, eventually, fans were. Oh, how nice the air felt from those fans.

Even after Keith and I married and my brother built a house suited for my limitations, we had no air conditioning. Paul set the house up for it, but we couldn’t afford it at the time. Instead, during the summer months, we opened windows. It helped some and I liked hearing the birds and the sounds of summer. Nights, however, were muggy and I found it difficult to rest.

We didn’t get AC until our daughter was 13 and had some health issues that led us to install air conditioning. Though we had to close our windows, the cool air felt so good on those steaming hot August days. We don’t turn our AC on in the spring until we’re sure the Winter chill has permanently warmed. (We turned on the AC this year only to have to revert to heat again before the Spring warmth actually stayed.)

With AC my clothes aren’t wringing wet by the end of the day. I don’t have to find the lightest thing possible to wear. If I sit close to our large front picture window, I can still see the trees and flowers and hear the birds from across the street at Collins Park. I know what it is not to have AC and as I sit in my cool home,

I think about those who invented, marketed, and installed the units—and I give thanks. I’ve learned that giving thanks lifts up far better and elevates my emotions much more than finding fault and complaining.

Giving thanks for everyday and small things is a good way to get into a habit of looking for the positive instead getting bogged down in negativity. Besides, I am really thankful for air conditioning, aren’t you?

Kearney Hub column published 2022 August 23

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9/7/22 9/7/22

Blog Bio A Birthday, A Graduation and the Making of Good Memories

Our oldest granddaughter did her high school online. That means she finished at a different time than traditional students. Tori finished her classes this summer. Since our children, Cassie and Tori’s dad Chris planned a 70th birthday celebration for their dad Keith Saturday, September 3rd, I got the idea of holding a graduation celebration earlier that same afternoon.

It was perfect timing as many family members would be coming to Keith’s celebration. I began planning. I already had her gift. My daughter let the family and a few close friends know about our celebration for Tori.

I ordered a vegan cake since Tori is a vegan. Keith went to get a helium balloon only to discover helium is hard to come by. But the business had gotten creative in how to use balloons for decorations. They created two wonderful table decorations—helium-type balloons filled with air with the graduation greetings- on a bed of three colorful smaller, regular balloons. The decorations were so much nicer than a helium balloon. I prefer these decorations, which weren’t expensive, and which I put on either side of the cake on the table.

We added gifts and cards, while those who came to help celebrate crowded around and ate cake. (Even my husband thought the vegan cake was pretty good.) Tori enjoyed her celebration. She got to have a graduation reception though she didn’t graduate from a traditional school situation.

Tori now has memories of the love of family members who were happy to celebrate with her.

Happy Graduation, Tori!

8/30/22 8/30/22

Long Term Friends

Thankful for Jeff & Gloria and other dear friends.

I am thankful for long term friends,
The kind who rally round
in times of trouble,
Who don’t expect a return
For their efforts or time,
Who give with a hug and a smile,
And give again,
Who cry when I cry,
And laugh with, not at me when I laugh,
Who make me want to give back in return
In time of hurt and need.
For, together, we make the world
A better place,
because We are friends.

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8/18/22 8/18/22

Blog Bio Covid Eventually Caught Up with Us

***Photo by*** ***Kelly Sikkema*** on ***Unsplash***

We made it through the 2020 season of Covid. Of course, at the time we took precautions and mostly stayed home. For a few months, we even Zoomed our church service. 2020, became 2021 with fewer restrictions and 2022 with most restrictions put aside. We are thankful every Sunday to be able to attend our church service and Bible Study in person.

Other than church and doctor visits, we don’t get out all that much. Keith will pick up a few items at the grocery store, but mainly we have our groceries delivered. We spend time with our kids and grandkids in Lincoln and Papillion respectively.

A few months ago, we visited our daughter and family, along with her husband’s parents. Both sets of grandparents came to attend our five-year-old granddaughter’s first dance recital. Ellery was so pretty in her dress. And, she did so well.

We also attended the Scheidies’ weekend gathering where we laughed, talked, and caught up with each other’s lives. Saturday that weekend, the younger kids had uncles providing 3-wheeler and burro rides outside at the family farm.

Not everyone was able to make it to the gathering, but most came. It felt right to be together as a family. We’d been through so much loss since Covid—though not from the disease itself, but due to other causes. We did discover how much we needed one another and the importance of showing we care.

The week after the get-together, Keith and I started not feeling so good. Our “get-up-and-go simply got-up-and went.” It took a couple of days to figure out this was something different from what we’d experienced before. Yup! After managing to stay well through the pandemic and afterward, we finally succumbed. But we didn’t let that frighten us. We knew that fear only makes a situation worse, not better. We chose to move forward, determined to get through this.

The first few days, we slept. Then it was sleep and bathroom time. Our neighbor, a nurse, checked our vitals, asked questions, and made sure we were OK. Slowly we recovered, but it took time to recover our energy. The worst time is when you no longer feel sick but have little energy or motivation to actually do anything. I was glad to get beyond that stage.

I am thankful to make it through and thankful for our family and friends who prayed and offered assistance. It is good to know, that whatever we go through, we do not have to fear for, whatever happens, we are safe in God’s loving care

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8/17/22 8/17/22

Blog Bio Mail, Weather and Just in Time

The day was overcast. I’m not a big fan of dark days. Gloomy days make me feel gloomy, too. On gloomy days, indoor lights aren’t enough to dispel the dark mood. I Like to turn on battery-powered lanterns we keep for nighttime or traveling. They help somewhat.

This was one of those dismal, dreary days. The sky threatened more than gloom. Wind got into the act. Didn’t feel or look much like a Spring day, more like the broodings of Winter. Late afternoon still hadn’t produced more than depressing gloom.

Keith headed out for the mail. He felt a few drops of rain. After retrieving the mail, he hurried back. As though taking a deep breath, the weather held back for a moment. The moment, he closed the door behind him, the sky let loose, howling and growling as though angry its prey escaped.

Rain poured from the clouds hard and fast. Ice hit. Hail slammed against the roof and siding making us wonder if we’d needed to have the roof checked when the storm cleared. The fury lasted for quite a while and even the next day rain, cold and wind lingered.

But it didn’t matter. We were safe in the house my brother Paul built for me, with my limitations in mind. Even more, God held off the storm until Keith was safely inside. How can I not be thankful? Thankful, and looking forward to the next sunny day.

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8/15/22 8/15/22

Blog Martin Luther, Reformer, Agent of Change and All-too human

We live in a culture where if someone on your political side does something wrong, they deserve a slap on the wrist. However, if someone from another point of view does something similar, the knives come out and there is a clamor for destruction—even if that person has done laudable things in his lifetime.

Maybe that is why historians tend to gloss over the darker sides of those with whom they agree, but seek to destroy those with whom they do not.

I have read a great deal on Martin Luther who not only was at the forefront of bringing Christians back to an understanding of salvation as not to be purchased or earned but also as a gift of grace from a God of love. In many ways, he changed the culture of his day to a Biblical view of the dignity and worth of each individual. Recently, I learned of a darker side.

In the 1520s, Luther showed some compassion for the Jewish people. Twenty years later, his views mirrored the skewed beliefs of his society. He advocated stripping them of their rights and property, among other things. He came to believe some horrible lies circulating about Jewish people. Because he had influence, what he wrote mattered. Unfortunately, he perpetuated common assumptions and myths. That view seems absolutely unacceptable to us today. It seems hard to reconcile the Luther who cared about others with the man who came to despise Jewish persons. Yet, for all that, we cannot dismiss all the good he did in his time.

He lived in a time when the current church structure was corrupt. Priests had enormous power and wealth. They thought nothing of forcing payment from peasants who scarcely knew where their next meal was coming from. One large source of income was from the sale of indulgences, a paper that was supposed to get loved ones out of purgatory and into heaven. Fear was used to make the sale. It was outright theft from those who could least afford it. Of course, those indulgences did nothing at all, but give people false hope.

As he more and more understood the message of salvation as a free gift, Luther confronted the Church about this and other corrupt practices. He hoped to clean up the corruption. Instead, a price was put on his head. Eventually, as he preached and wrote, his following grew as more and more followed a God of love, rather than a restrictive taskmaster.

Marriage laws were a mess. A young man could have his way with a young woman, yet get out of marriage by citing some archaic, and often twisted, restriction of kinship, regardless of how distant or not even by blood. Luther would have none of that. His influence simplified marriage to a sacrament that gave more protection to both parties.

He broke away from the celibacy forced on priests. He assisted in helping some nuns escape and helped them find husbands. He married as well. His wife was a true helpmate. He highly valued her faith and intelligence. Luther was a generous man. When there was a need, he’d give. This didn’t work when he had a family to support. Kate started taking care of the finances. He didn’t believe women were less than. In fact, in a government structure that left women without many legal rights, Luther left his wife property in her own name,

Luther believed in the education of children, and not only the males (especially wealthy ones) as society at that time dictated. He believed in education for all children, boys and girls, and wrote material that was used to educate.

Peasants were considered so much fodder for those in power. Luther cared about the average person, desiring everyone to know His loving God and treating even peasants with dignity.

I have no idea what experiences Luther had over the years that hardened His heart toward God’s people. I don’t know why someone who valued and lived by scripture could not see how much God loved the Jewish people. It is evident he took seriously a book written at that time that posed some of what he came to believe, but surely there is more.

What we need to realize about even the greatest of individuals is that we’re all human. While we may accomplish wonderful things for others and our society, we are far from perfect. We need only look at ourselves and know how often we say and do things we regret. No matter what we’ve said or done, when we realize we’ve done wrong, we absolutely need and can find wholeness, redemption, and forgiveness in Christ.

While the Lutheran church has rightly disavowed Luther’s Jewish stance, they stand on what he accomplished—especially bringing us back to a God who loves and cares for us. Though our culture seems to have forgotten that you don’t have to agree with someone to treat them with respect, let’s choose to respect and show compassion for every person—regardless of who they are, where they come from, what they’ve done—good or bad, or what they believe. How? By allowing God to love others through us. That we can do.

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