Blog The Problem with Christian heroines
When I started reading mysteries as a young teen, I looked for strong, independent female characters. I found them in authors such as Phyllis Whitney, Mary Stewart, and Victoria Holt and others. But these were authors who wrote beyond a genre. Many books of the period were meant for quick reads. Both mysteries and romances weren’t meant to be great literature.
Many of the heroines in these books were weak, easily frightened and, if given a choice, made the wrong one. They would do stupid like going off alone into a dark forest, a lonely run-down home, etc. I’d shake my head at their stupidity.
Then came the women’s movement and women determined to stand up for themselves. This trend has greatly influenced our female characters in good and not-so-good ways.
These days, when I read fiction, mysteries and romances, I mostly read Christian fiction. Not every author creates heroines as I describe here. In fact, there are many authors who write women who seem to live and breathe in their fictional settings.
However, too many of the female heroines in the books I read these days are drawn so strong and independent that they are stubborn, and refuse to listen to even good advice, They don’t forgive easily and do things their way regardless of the consequences to others. They are more likely to tell God to help than ask and follow His direction.
And they still do stupid--going off by themselves, etc. even if they have a bodyguard or someone who is trying to keep them safe. They walk alone into dangerous situations, putting themselves, who they want to save, and those watching out for them in danger.
These women claim to follow Christ, but, by their words and actions, they depend only on themselves. You can’t tell them anything without receiving a negative response. “Can’t tell me what to do!” Sometimes I’d like to see the hero tell them off rather than cower, unable to think around these women.
Truth? Women can follow the Lord, be strong, even up to a point, independent. Yet Godly women should also be humble, listen, wait for God's timing and direction and, at least, be willing to forgive, and hear the whole story…. They should not be applauded for “spunk,” when they endanger themselves and/or others--even if the situation turned out OK.
I realize a character needs to grow and change during the course of the story, learning, growing in attitudes, faith, etc. along the way. Yet, even when everything is nicely resolved in the end, it is hard for a reader to change one’s opinion when the character begins with some very dominate unlikable traits/behaviors.
I created a hero in one of my books that had so many negative characteristics and behaviors, I wanted to kill him off. I started at the beginning and redrew a hero who made some bad choices but wasn’t unlikeable. Maybe it’s time we do that with some of our overly independent heroines. Why not create women, who, even in awful situations past or present, show a Godly as well as a softer human side?
2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Bio Seasons, Life and Attitude
Didn’t the year 2022 just begin? What whirlwind happened to send us into the future at such a dizzying pace? A day might seem to go on forever at times until you blink and the day, a week, a month has whipped by.
Winter, Spring, and Summer three seasons disappeared into the past. We held celebrations of birthdays and graduations, had a Scheidies family gathering, and much more. Our youngest granddaughter had her first dance recital. To which, of course, both sets of grandparents came to town to attend, converging from Kearney and Minnesota on Papillon. My husband Keith celebrated his 70th birthday with family and friends. Our oldest granddaughter graduated from high school so, of course, we had to celebrate that milestone.
I look back at days of sunshine and storms. Days when I got things done and days when one thing after another interfered with my schedule, leaving me frustrated, and wondering where all the time went. The cold of winter finally eased into the panting heat of summer. Short sleeves helped cool us off. Yesterday I realized we are, already it seems, heading into fall and winter. I woke up cold. The weather reported temperatures in the 70s, but not until late afternoon.
No, the morning was in the 50s and 60s, when, as I pointed out to my husband, we’d be going to church. No short sleeves for me. Brr. I wore a warmer long sleeve turtleneck covered with a flannel vest. I was still cold. Before going out I added a jacket and kept it on all during church. The year is moving on and at warp speed. I cannot stop time or the clock. We were young not so long ago. Now we are old. We had energy to burn, but not so much now. Much has changed.
However fast or slow life happens, I can still meet each day with gratitude. I can count my blessings. From this vantage point, I realize how even difficult circumstances helped me become who I am and were the foundation for many blessings I enjoy today.
My life is centered not on the passing of seasons, years, or time, but on a faith that guides my todays and my tomorrows. Whatever the date on the calendar, I rise with a verse on my tongue, “This is the day the Lord has made, we (I) will rejoice and be glad in it.” —Psalms 118:24 NKJV
An attitude of gratitude makes all the difference.
(c) 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Kearney Hub Column Published 9/20/2022
Feel free to share
Blog Bio Trip, a surprise and Star trek
Keith had an idea. He wanted to surprise Jeff and Gloria Geiselman who’ve been our friends since college. Whenever we’ve needed help, they’ve always been there. It was more than that. The surprise had to do with an interest we all had in common. It included a special trip after Jeff retired. Once we knew when he was officially retired, we booked the trip—many months in advance. “Save the date,” Keith told Jeff and Gloria.
Late August we packed everything into our car and headed out. They knew we planned to eat in Omaha, so Jeff drove that first lap. Keith took over after that stop. We headed mainly east on I-80. I knew Gloria needed to know how to pack, so I’d already shared we were headed to a Casino Resort with a pool, hot tub and spa.
We talked, laughed, remembered incidences and friends from the past. Back in college, I was in a wheelchair and the guys took good care of me and included me. After my extensive surgery and relearning to walk, Jeff and Gloria were always ready to lend an arm when I needed more support. Now we’re geezers and Keith isn’t as steady on his feet as he once was.
Eventually Keith told them we were going to Riverside Iowa. That didn’t ring a bell and he asked them not to check on their phones. Even when we arrived and settled into very nice connecting rooms, they had no clue. We were all Star Trek fans. Before and after we married, we got together to watch episodes of Star Trek as well as shows that came out of that original show.
Keith revealed the secret. We brought them to the future birthplace of Captain James T Kirk. In the series, Kirk always claimed his home was Iowa. Riverside became that home. The next day we headed to the Star Trek museum with all things Kirk and Star Trek. No one else was visiting so Alex who was in charge spent his time talking to us and showing us around.
We took pictures of the command chair, the transporter, and much more. Alex even came outside with us to take a picture of us in front of the large mockup of the Enterprise. It was so much fun to share that experience with our friends.
This was also Amish country where horses and buggies were not uncommon on the road. We ate delicious ice cream at an Amish creamery, shopped at unique stores, and later enjoyed supper at a steak house. By then we were ready to return to the resort, I was out of steam, but the others grabbed their swimsuits and went swimming in the indoor/outdoor pool.
After long days, it wasn’t hard to sleep. The third day, it was time to head home, which we did after breakfast. After all, it was a 6 ½ hour drive home. On the way, we found some unique eating places to take breaks and eat. By the time we drove by exits for Grand Island, talk had died down. The only sound came from the radio.
We were tired and ready to be home. We gave thanks for a safe trip, a fun trip, and time together with good friends. We made good memories and took lots of pictures. I am glad we were able to do the trip and surprise our friends. Now we can look back, remember and smile.
What can you do to make good memories for family, friends, or even a total stranger? Try it. Make some good memories of your own.
(c) 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Bio Air Conditioning and Gratitude
I didn’t grow up with air conditioning. When we lived in Siren, Wisconsin when I was 5-7 years old, the humidity was almost unbearable during the summer months. Wisconsin has lakes dotted all over. Some lakes were good for fishing, some for swimming and some were little more than swamps—and dangerous at that.
Back in the late fifties, we didn’t even think about air conditioning. When we wanted to cool off we headed to one of the lakes that bracketed our small town. There were no lifeguards and parents didn’t always go with their kids. In fact, we younger children often went with our older siblings.
Eastern Wyoming didn’t have an abundance of lakes or rivers. Many creek beds remained dry except during Spring run-off. Humidity wasn’t a problem. But temperatures often climbed over the 100% mark. Still, without moisture, the temperatures didn’t feel near as hot as much lower temperatures felt in Wisconsin.
The nearest swimming pool was 30 miles away in Lusk. Our folks took us to swim a few times during the summer. Where we lived water was not abundant, so we didn’t just turn on the hose to cool off. Best stay in the shade instead.
Every place I lived as a child was a bit different, but air conditioning was never part of the equation, though, eventually, fans were. Oh, how nice the air felt from those fans.
Even after Keith and I married and my brother built a house suited for my limitations, we had no air conditioning. Paul set the house up for it, but we couldn’t afford it at the time. Instead, during the summer months, we opened windows. It helped some and I liked hearing the birds and the sounds of summer. Nights, however, were muggy and I found it difficult to rest.
We didn’t get AC until our daughter was 13 and had some health issues that led us to install air conditioning. Though we had to close our windows, the cool air felt so good on those steaming hot August days. We don’t turn our AC on in the spring until we’re sure the Winter chill has permanently warmed. (We turned on the AC this year only to have to revert to heat again before the Spring warmth actually stayed.)
With AC my clothes aren’t wringing wet by the end of the day. I don’t have to find the lightest thing possible to wear. If I sit close to our large front picture window, I can still see the trees and flowers and hear the birds from across the street at Collins Park. I know what it is not to have AC and as I sit in my cool home,
I think about those who invented, marketed, and installed the units—and I give thanks. I’ve learned that giving thanks lifts up far better and elevates my emotions much more than finding fault and complaining.
Giving thanks for everyday and small things is a good way to get into a habit of looking for the positive instead getting bogged down in negativity. Besides, I am really thankful for air conditioning, aren’t you?
(c) 2022 By Carolyn R Scheidies
Kearney Hub column published 2022 August 23
Feel free to pass on
Blog Bio A Birthday, A Graduation and the Making of Good Memories
Our oldest granddaughter did her high school online. That means she finished at a different time than traditional students. Tori finished her classes this summer. Since our children, Cassie and Tori’s dad Chris planned a 70th birthday celebration for their dad Keith Saturday, September 3rd, I got the idea of holding a graduation celebration earlier that same afternoon.
It was perfect timing as many family members would be coming to Keith’s celebration. I began planning. I already had her gift. My daughter let the family and a few close friends know about our celebration for Tori.
I ordered a vegan cake since Tori is a vegan. Keith went to get a helium balloon only to discover helium is hard to come by. But the business had gotten creative in how to use balloons for decorations. They created two wonderful table decorations—helium-type balloons filled with air with the graduation greetings- on a bed of three colorful smaller, regular balloons. The decorations were so much nicer than a helium balloon. I prefer these decorations, which weren’t expensive, and which I put on either side of the cake on the table.
We added gifts and cards, while those who came to help celebrate crowded around and ate cake. (Even my husband thought the vegan cake was pretty good.) Tori enjoyed her celebration. She got to have a graduation reception though she didn’t graduate from a traditional school situation.
Tori now has memories of the love of family members who were happy to celebrate with her.
Happy Graduation, Tori!
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Blog Bio Covid Eventually Caught Up with Us
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
We made it through the 2020 season of Covid. Of course, at the time we took precautions and mostly stayed home. For a few months, we even Zoomed our church service. 2020, became 2021 with fewer restrictions and 2022 with most restrictions put aside. We are thankful every Sunday to be able to attend our church service and Bible Study in person.
Other than church and doctor visits, we don’t get out all that much. Keith will pick up a few items at the grocery store, but mainly we have our groceries delivered. We spend time with our kids and grandkids in Lincoln and Papillion respectively.
A few months ago, we visited our daughter and family, along with her husband’s parents. Both sets of grandparents came to attend our five-year-old granddaughter’s first dance recital. Ellery was so pretty in her dress. And, she did so well.
We also attended the Scheidies’ weekend gathering where we laughed, talked, and caught up with each other’s lives. Saturday that weekend, the younger kids had uncles providing 3-wheeler and burro rides outside at the family farm.
Not everyone was able to make it to the gathering, but most came. It felt right to be together as a family. We’d been through so much loss since Covid—though not from the disease itself, but due to other causes. We did discover how much we needed one another and the importance of showing we care.
The week after the get-together, Keith and I started not feeling so good. Our “get-up-and-go simply got-up-and went.” It took a couple of days to figure out this was something different from what we’d experienced before. Yup! After managing to stay well through the pandemic and afterward, we finally succumbed. But we didn’t let that frighten us. We knew that fear only makes a situation worse, not better. We chose to move forward, determined to get through this.
The first few days, we slept. Then it was sleep and bathroom time. Our neighbor, a nurse, checked our vitals, asked questions, and made sure we were OK. Slowly we recovered, but it took time to recover our energy. The worst time is when you no longer feel sick but have little energy or motivation to actually do anything. I was glad to get beyond that stage.
I am thankful to make it through and thankful for our family and friends who prayed and offered assistance. It is good to know, that whatever we go through, we do not have to fear for, whatever happens, we are safe in God’s loving care
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Bio Mail, Weather and Just in Time
The day was overcast. I’m not a big fan of dark days. Gloomy days make me feel gloomy, too. On gloomy days, indoor lights aren’t enough to dispel the dark mood. I Like to turn on battery-powered lanterns we keep for nighttime or traveling. They help somewhat.
This was one of those dismal, dreary days. The sky threatened more than gloom. Wind got into the act. Didn’t feel or look much like a Spring day, more like the broodings of Winter. Late afternoon still hadn’t produced more than depressing gloom.
Keith headed out for the mail. He felt a few drops of rain. After retrieving the mail, he hurried back. As though taking a deep breath, the weather held back for a moment. The moment, he closed the door behind him, the sky let loose, howling and growling as though angry its prey escaped.
Rain poured from the clouds hard and fast. Ice hit. Hail slammed against the roof and siding making us wonder if we’d needed to have the roof checked when the storm cleared. The fury lasted for quite a while and even the next day rain, cold and wind lingered.
But it didn’t matter. We were safe in the house my brother Paul built for me, with my limitations in mind. Even more, God held off the storm until Keith was safely inside. How can I not be thankful? Thankful, and looking forward to the next sunny day.
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share.
Blog Martin Luther, Reformer, Agent of Change and All-too human
We live in a culture where if someone on your political side does something wrong, they deserve a slap on the wrist. However, if someone from another point of view does something similar, the knives come out and there is a clamor for destruction—even if that person has done laudable things in his lifetime.
Maybe that is why historians tend to gloss over the darker sides of those with whom they agree, but seek to destroy those with whom they do not.
I have read a great deal on Martin Luther who not only was at the forefront of bringing Christians back to an understanding of salvation as not to be purchased or earned but also as a gift of grace from a God of love. In many ways, he changed the culture of his day to a Biblical view of the dignity and worth of each individual. Recently, I learned of a darker side.
In the 1520s, Luther showed some compassion for the Jewish people. Twenty years later, his views mirrored the skewed beliefs of his society. He advocated stripping them of their rights and property, among other things. He came to believe some horrible lies circulating about Jewish people. Because he had influence, what he wrote mattered. Unfortunately, he perpetuated common assumptions and myths. That view seems absolutely unacceptable to us today. It seems hard to reconcile the Luther who cared about others with the man who came to despise Jewish persons. Yet, for all that, we cannot dismiss all the good he did in his time.
He lived in a time when the current church structure was corrupt. Priests had enormous power and wealth. They thought nothing of forcing payment from peasants who scarcely knew where their next meal was coming from. One large source of income was from the sale of indulgences, a paper that was supposed to get loved ones out of purgatory and into heaven. Fear was used to make the sale. It was outright theft from those who could least afford it. Of course, those indulgences did nothing at all, but give people false hope.
As he more and more understood the message of salvation as a free gift, Luther confronted the Church about this and other corrupt practices. He hoped to clean up the corruption. Instead, a price was put on his head. Eventually, as he preached and wrote, his following grew as more and more followed a God of love, rather than a restrictive taskmaster.
Marriage laws were a mess. A young man could have his way with a young woman, yet get out of marriage by citing some archaic, and often twisted, restriction of kinship, regardless of how distant or not even by blood. Luther would have none of that. His influence simplified marriage to a sacrament that gave more protection to both parties.
He broke away from the celibacy forced on priests. He assisted in helping some nuns escape and helped them find husbands. He married as well. His wife was a true helpmate. He highly valued her faith and intelligence. Luther was a generous man. When there was a need, he’d give. This didn’t work when he had a family to support. Kate started taking care of the finances. He didn’t believe women were less than. In fact, in a government structure that left women without many legal rights, Luther left his wife property in her own name,
Luther believed in the education of children, and not only the males (especially wealthy ones) as society at that time dictated. He believed in education for all children, boys and girls, and wrote material that was used to educate.
Peasants were considered so much fodder for those in power. Luther cared about the average person, desiring everyone to know His loving God and treating even peasants with dignity.
I have no idea what experiences Luther had over the years that hardened His heart toward God’s people. I don’t know why someone who valued and lived by scripture could not see how much God loved the Jewish people. It is evident he took seriously a book written at that time that posed some of what he came to believe, but surely there is more.
What we need to realize about even the greatest of individuals is that we’re all human. While we may accomplish wonderful things for others and our society, we are far from perfect. We need only look at ourselves and know how often we say and do things we regret. No matter what we’ve said or done, when we realize we’ve done wrong, we absolutely need and can find wholeness, redemption, and forgiveness in Christ.
While the Lutheran church has rightly disavowed Luther’s Jewish stance, they stand on what he accomplished—especially bringing us back to a God who loves and cares for us. Though our culture seems to have forgotten that you don’t have to agree with someone to treat them with respect, let’s choose to respect and show compassion for every person—regardless of who they are, where they come from, what they’ve done—good or bad, or what they believe. How? By allowing God to love others through us. That we can do.
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog The best sort of trip
Recently we visited our daughter, not to go someplace or celebrate some event. Our daughter and husband had meetings to attend for a couple of days—just during the day. It was in the area, but they asked us to watch the kids while they were gone. We’ve watched the kids before. Keith has changed many a diaper as the kids went from babies to toddlers.
But watching younger kids is exhausting, even though we were glad to help out. The kids are now 5 and 3. Better yet, they can handle the whole potty situation by themselves. They are at that willing to help stage. The “fun” stage if you will.
I planned and brought lots of activities, including a brand-new box of crayons for each along with pen with four colors they loved using. We colored, made popup cards, books, and origami boats and planes. They loved walking and dancing with grampa’s cane, especially when wearing his large shoes. I brought my DVD player with such classics as A Charlie Brown Christmas and an animated The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. They played games with grampa on his iPad.
In the mornings, they spent time outside playing with our grandson’s trucks and trailers, our granddaughter showed me how she could hang upside down on the bars of their swing set. What was nice was that the two get along great. During quiet time they could play together quietly. I even got naps.
What was different this time was that we did not end the day exhausted. Those two energized us, and brought so much happiness. When it was time to go home, I knew I’d miss those kids. Who wouldn’t miss those smiles? As I told our daughter, we were blessed to spend time with them. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I can’t wait to see them first part of September when they come to Kearney for Keith’s birthday celebration.
God is soo good,
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Brand Names, School and Lessons Learned
Here it is August already and we’re headed into fall. Families with kids are gearing up for school. This means shopping for school supplies, clothes, and shoes. Every year this becomes more stressful and expensive.
I remember school shopping and some memories aren’t good ones. Our budget was stretched thin with children, then teens who preferred brand name clothes when we hardly had a Walmart budget. It might sound out of line for kids to want brand-name items, but I early realized why, especially since my son really cared nothing about such things—at least not for its own sake. No, those with brand name items made the wearers “cool”, “in” or whatever they were called at any given time.
Kids not wearing brand-name items were put down, teased, and, often, bullied. One year my son and I actually got into a yelling match in Walmart over shoes. That’s not something we ever did before or after that. I am glad that for us, those days are behind us. For one granddaughter those days are just beginning.
I knew brand names really weren’t either the problem or the solution. My husband and I tried instead to instill in our children that they were special creations of a loving Lord. They had value and worth simply because they existed. That God loved them as they were. We tried to instill confidence and a willingness to be and to think independently, even go against the crowd when the crowd was headed the wrong way. We taught our kids not to bully and stand up to those who were.
Our children may not have had fancy clothes, shoes, or school supplies, but they learned lessons of caring, kindness, independence, and faith that have stood them much better as adults than brand-name items that lasted a very short time.
The very best thing we can provide our kids is a foundation of faith in the one who is the essence of love--Jesus Christ.
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Politics What Happened to Free Speech & Freedom of Thought?
One of the foundations of America has been free speech which is founded on freedom of thought. Both seem to be disappearing. We have a generation who has re-interpreted tolerance to mean “anything that agrees with my point of view (POV).” If you have a different POV this segment of the population will do everything possible to shut you up and change your mind or otherwise silence you. This violent response to a different POV is especially evident against anyone with a conservative or Christian POV.
Even relatives, including those they care about, do not escape. If it is someone they care about the excuse is, “Well, their minds have been polluted by such as Fox or other conservative talk shows or other hosts or information outlets. Instead of allowing their loved one the right to hold a differing view, they badger the person to change, almost becoming bullies to force a change of thought and POV.
To say bright, intelligent people cannot hold views on their own, but simply accept whatever these conservatives have to say is a huge put-down and an insult. They actually believe we are too stupid to form our own opinions. It never occurs to them that some of us are drawn to outlets such as Fox not to be indoctrinated, but because, finally, we found a place that REFLECTED views we already had.
I am tired of bullies who seek to force me to their way of thinking.
Believe what you want, but how about giving me the same courtesy?
In fact, it is the conservatives who are the closest to the foundational beliefs of our founders--
Faith, freedom, family, tolerance (like free speech & thought), and personal responsibility. It is believing citizens should be, as the Constitution dictates, in charge & run the government—having the right to speak out without being labelled a threat.
Big government is not supposed to be in charge—becoming little better than another dictator with mostly unelected persons forcing their will on the citizens—government agents who often restrict free speech. This is completely opposite of what our Constitution is about.
How about returning to a nation of free speech with the right to differing POVs and stop seeking to shut down everyone who disagrees?
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Bio Mom Scheidies is gone but we still enjoy getting together as a family
Daughter Cassie & hubby Kurt with Jiggs & Bert
Since my in-laws, my husband’s parents Jiggs & Bert passed on, family gatherings haven’t been the same. For years, we followed his Mom’s pattern of a Scheidies weekend gathering the weekend after Thanksgiving in the fall and a gathering the last weekend in April.
In the fall, we celebrated Thanksgiving with a Saturday night potluck at the Scheidies farm and brunch the next morning in Minden with Keith’s folks. We also celebrated Christmas—with gifts for the children, birthdays, and any special event around that time period. In the spring we celebrated Easter, birthdays, and graduations.
Covid forced us to get together via Zoom for a couple of gatherings. While I was thankful for the technology and I was glad to visit with family, Zoom isn’t the same as face-to-face conversations, smiles, and those all-important hugs.
We have gotten together, but too often in the last couple of years, it has been for a memorial service or special acknowledgments, etc. Finally, we held a Scheidies gathering, this time in June 2022, that mirrored the ones Mom Scheidies initiated.
On Saturday night we met at the Scheidies’ farm now owned by Keith’s younger brother and sister-in-law Randy and Nancy who are raising their two grandkids.
Uncles went outside to keep an eye on the little ones. They also gave the kids rides on the 3-wheeler and even on a burro (Someone took a picture of our 5-year-old granddaughter, Ellery, on a burro. She has the biggest smile.)
The kids also got to swim in the above-ground pool on the side porch. Inside, we talked, laughed, remembered, and hugged. We also took time to see who wanted what from two tubs of items from the folks that had not been divided up.
Of course, we had potluck with lots of good food. Only a few stayed for the traditional late-night card game at the farm. The rest of us returned to our homes or hotel rooms for the night.
When the folks lived, we met at their home in Minden where we made eggs and bacon and supplied other breakfast/brunch items. We ate, and hung out until it was time to disperse to our homes—West to Colorado, East to Lincoln, Omaha, and Florida, for Randy and Nancy a short drive North of Minden to their farm and, for us 20 minutes to Kearney. The folk’s home in Minden has been sold. This year we rented the Mitzi Center at Yanney Park in Kearney for our brunch. The park offers so much for the family—including climbing the tower.
We ate, laughed, remembered, and took pictures. We’d gotten together as Mom always wanted for her family. This time without being brought together by death and tragedy. Now the big debate—when should we hold our next get-together? Looks like we’re returning to the last weekend in April. I can’t wait.
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Published in the Kearney Hub as “Mom gone: we still get together” 7/28/2022
Feel free to share
Blog Life, Not All About Sunshine and Roses
It has been raining pretty steadily today. In fact, we’ve had rain the past several days. Gloomy days wear on me. I have to fight from getting gloomy, too. One way I deal is to turn on lots of lights—the more and the brighter the better.
When there are too many rainy days, complaints start. We want sunshine. We crave warmth. Too much gloom encourages us to become grouchy and gloomy, too. Yet, consider what happens after a rain. The lawn sparkles a rich green. Leaves fill the trees and flowers are more colorful than ever.
Farmers crave rain. They know something many of us prone to complaining and wishing away those rain-filled days do not want to consider. (We’d rather grumble than rise above the gloom to think more positive thoughts.
God never promised continual sunshine. He never said we’d never have rain or bad times or even suffer illness, death, or horrible tragedies. He didn’t create our world that way either. Farmers know without the rain and storms, there would be no crops. Rain, gloomy days and storms are a necessary ingredient to nourish the earth, allowing the sun to do its job as well.
Life is the same. It is through difficult times we most often learn and grow the most. It is during those difficult times we know we need Jesus. If we commit to following Jesus believing that it gives us a pass for hard times, or thinking life will be all sunshine and roses, we haven’t understood what Jesus calls us to do and be. Following Jesus isn’t about ME at all. It is about following Jesus through the darkness as well as the light. If we turn away from our faith because our lives are hard or we blame God for allowing sorrow as well as joy in our lives, we truly do not understand our faith at all.
Following Jesus means we become disciples—spending time daily communing with Him, asking for, listening to, and following His guidance. It is daily reading and studying God’s Word so we know what God is saying to us. How can we say we know what someone is trying to convey to us if we refuse to read the letters or posts sent to us? It is the same with our walk of faith. Prayer and an intimate knowledge of the Bible are bedrock foundations of faith.
As much as I don’t like a host of rainy days, I can focus on not complaining, but praising God for rain that helps plants to grow. With life, instead of getting mad at God for hardships, I can be thankful He is there, He doesn’t desert me, but walks beside me through the hard times—when I turn to Him.
So today, I refuse to complain. Thank you, Jesus for the rain.
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Marriage About Sacrifice and Serving
In our culture, too many marriages are centered on “ME.” I am in love. My partner meets MY needs. For many, marriage is little more than a legal agreement to live together until one partner decides to move on.
The sacredness and sanctity of the union has been exchanged for the selfishness of “whatever makes me happy—at this time.” Marriages do not survive because the two involved never consider their union of two should become one entity, two separate individuals, working together for the benefit of the marriage and those within that union. Yet, marriage isn’t about what you can do for me. It isn’t even about what I can do for you. Marriage is about how we can best serve one another. That’s real love. That is love that lasts.
Recently I attended a wedding that graphically symbolized this aspect of marriage. In all their finery, the bride and groom got on their knees on the platform and lovingly washed each other’s feet. The act symbolized their desire to show their love for and commit to one another--through humbly serving one another. It was a beautiful representation of Jesus. Though the leader, master, and teacher, Jesus served by stooping to wash his disciples' dirty, dusty feet.
How many marriages would be different if we followed Jesus’ example of service? How many relationships would be enhanced if one was less concerned about ME and more concerned with how to serve their partner? This isn’t about abuse or being a doormat, but about voluntarily loving someone enough to consider the other’s needs on par with your own.
Who wouldn’t follow a partner who loved and lived like this? Do you, do I reflect this unselfish love?
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Bio Patience, conflict and learning to let go
I’ve always struggled with patience. I want to wade in and get done what needs doing. When there was conflict, I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to discuss and talk about the issue until it was solved. I really didn’t mind conflict with a purpose.
I didn’t understand until many years into our marriage that not everyone viewed dealing with issues the same way. Instead of hitting a subject while hot, many, like my husband, preferred to go off to a quiet place and think things through first. Only then was he ready to work through the situation. That used to frustrate me. I didn’t like to wait.
I knew patience was a problem. I knew God encourages patience. It is a virtue. I worked at developing more patience—with kids pushing my last button, with situations out my control, with my body that often frustrated my efforts to accomplish one task or another.
Yes, with my writing I could write, rewrite and keep rewriting until the passage shined. Even then, by the time I turned a book manuscript into my editor, I was heartily sick of it.
When I fell and scrambled my brains, when I had to reach into the darkness of my mind for words and concepts, I had to work hard at regaining what I’d lost. When I tried to explain, I’d get stressed when my mind refused to reveal what I wanted. (I knew the information was in my head, I simply couldn’t readily access it.) My impatience actually increased with my serious fall.
I recovered so very much. I could think more or less clearly, I could read, even write again. In time, I was thankful to be able to breathe without a trach, eat and swallow without a feeding tube. But there are changes. I no longer like confrontation.
I avoid some detective, lawyer, and mystery shows I used to enjoy. I still search for words at times, but I have learned to stop and allow the word or phrase to form in my mind. (My husband has gotten pretty good at figuring out what I want to say.)
In many ways, like my speech, I have learned patience. In other ways, I am more impatient. I have a hard time sitting through a two-hour movie. While I used to force myself through any book I started to read, now I am easily bored. I won’t stay with a movie or book once that boredom sets in.
There is nothing wrong with striving for patience. God made me and He knows doing so is not easy for me—especially now. I may be in a new phase of life and there have been changes, but none of that is a surprise to God.
I’ve learned that while my patience is limited, God’s is not. I can let go and let God be God. After all, I have also come to realize God knows my situation and loves and accepts me just the way I am. All I need do, is wait on Him. That’s something we all can do.
(c) 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Scheidies' Kearney Hub Column published 7/8/2022
Feel free to share
Blog Celebrations Don't Have to Be Big or Loud
Photo by Jingming Pan on Unsplash
Monday was Independence Day or as we usually call it, the 4th of July." Over the years we've celebrated in many ways. When there was a big firework show at the fairgrounds, we attended with good friends Jeff & Gloria Geiselamn and our families. They had a pickup and we'd get into the back and settle in with snacks to watch the show.
When the Fredrickson family had reunions over the 4th, we'd watch fireworks or do some family activity, which included grilling and eating picnic-style--whether in the Black Hills or Manitou Springs. One year the Arch held its own fireworks show and we attended with brother and SIL, Paul and Lorene.
One of my fondest memories was the year we planned to go to the fairgrounds but didn't quite make it. Keith usually didn't get home from work until 9. Our family was hurrying north when we went over the overpass on H. We looked up and had an excellent view of the fireworks show that had already begun.
Keith parked our car at the bottom. Keith and I, our kids Chris and Cassie walked up, and settled on top to watch the show. Not much later, Paul and Lorene, also late, drove onto the overpass. They saw and slowed. Instead of heading north, they parked and joined us. We had a great time together watching the fireworks without any of the hassle.
Some years when our kids were growing up, we bought our own fireworks and shot them off.
This year we were alone. No kids or grandkids. We celebrated quietly and together. I touched base with Facebook friends and family. We enjoyed our food and chose to watch a movie instead of watching fireworks. Unlike many who don't seem to understand or care what the celebration is all about anymore, we know the why of July 4th.
While not all is well with America, we are thankful for the country of freedom, faith, and family our parents and others fought for. It is also up to us not let falsehoods about our founding take the place of truth.
We need to share the truth about the founders and the founding of America so that, however, we celebrate, we'll still have a reason to celebrate our freedom, faith, and families.
(c) 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Bio Unusual but Fun Bridal Shower
Recently I attended a bridal shower. It was very different from others I’ve attended over the years. Our college friends, the Farlins, entered missionary service after college. Their children grew up in Indonesia and the Philippines. All four children returned to Kearney when it was time for college. Shannon, the oldest, was the only one who followed her parents into missionary work. She became a teacher teaching first in the Philippines and then back to Indonesia.
The school has teachers and students from all over the world. Who knew she’d meet a guy not from some far-flung place, but one from right next door in Iowa. They returned home to get married. The shower came first. It was held in the church her next youngest sister, Rachel, and my husband and I attend.
While Shannon and her intended came home, many of her friends live overseas or in other locations. Her youngest sister is now stationed in Hawaii with her military husband. No way she was getting home for the shower. That’s where technology came to the rescue.
While there was good attendance from the area, others tuned in with Zoom. It was set up so those online could see and participate with those attending in person. It was fun talking to those who lived so far away and yet feel they were as present as those of us who attended in person.
The shower went off with only a few hitches of muted mikes. We were all together sharing a special day with the bride-to-be. It was fun and memorable for the bride-to-be that she could include family and friends from around the world.
Unusual, but oh so special. It is cool that no place is too out of reach. Let’s make a difference by sharing God’s love around the world.
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Bio We All Need Crutches of One Kind or Another
Because of my limitations, I can’t reach all that far. Only one hand extends to my face. Even leaning over, I can’t extend my reach past my knees. I can’t pick things up from the floor. Can’t reach things too high or even a couple of feet away. I have trouble with grasping and dexterity.
That translates to often dropping things large and small. In order to be able to retrieve things I drop or that are out of reach, I add loops to everything from clothes to electronics. If I drop something the added loop ensures I am able to pick it up.
The loops are only part of the equation. I use different varieties of utility sticks with hooks to pick up those things out of my reach. I have three-foot hooks and hooks half that size. I carry expandable hooks in my purse and on my person. I have some sort of hook or squeezable tong in almost every room.
The first hook was created for me at a rehab center when I was still a teen. The center was helping me become more independent. Things they taught forged my imagination in other ways to foster my independence. I could be angry I need such assistance, but that would not help me live my best life. I could refuse to use help such as a wheelchair or crutches when required after one surgery or another, but I’d never recover what mobility I could have.
Some mock Christians with the claim that Christianity is a crutch. Most Christians cringe at the very thought. I don’t. Do you know why? If we’re Christians it’s because we realize we do need help. We can’t do life on our own without messing up. Jesus came to offer life, guidance, and help.
I can’t live my life to the fullest without assistance. My utility hooks are crutches and my crutches, when I need them, are very real crutches. So what if we need Jesus? I do. But He is so much more than a crutch. He is my Savior, my friend, my confidence, and my hope.
Everyone needs some sort of crutch in life and Jesus in my life brings a peace and joy that no amount of wealth, power, sex, drugs or alcohol—all crutches—can provide. If I’m going to need a crutch, I choose Jesus. How about you?
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
Blog Abortion, the Bible and Guns
Some cherry-pick passages in order to claim the Bible allows for abortion. The question is, do passages such as Numbers 3:15 and Leviticus 27:6 really support abortion—the taking of a preborn baby’s life? Is a child of less than one month in the womb of less value?
Numbers 3:15 “Number the children of Levi after the house of their fathers, by their families: every male from a month old and upward shalt thou number them.” -KJV
Leviticus 27:6 “And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. –KJV
Actually, one has to force a meaning on these passages to assume they refer to abortion. According to the WELS Center for Mission and Ministry, these passages refer to “…the amount of money a person would pay the priests in order to redeem, to buy back, an infant who had been dedicated to the Lord in a solemn vow (Leviticus 27:6) and the minimum age for the census of the Levites that Moses was going to undertake (Number 3:15).”
Another passage used is Exodus 21:22-25. If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. --KJV
Some Bible versions translate the passage as miscarriage and is used by the pro-abortion crowd. Other versions translate the phrase as premature birth. There is a word used for miscarrying, but the word here is not that word, but the word used refers to a live birth. Either way, when taken within the text and original word uses, this passage has nothing to do with abortion.
Even if the first translation is correct, the passage does not support abortion. This is about an accident. Abortion is a deliberate act. Because a penalty is attached, this shows the value of the child. In this and other passages, an accidental death engenders lesser consequences than a deliberate killing. This affirms not destroys the humanity of preborn children and human life itself. Further, many who seek to twist Scripture to prove abortion don’t even believe in the Bible as God’s Word. The sole intent is to harm not deal honestly with the issue.
The overall message of Scripture is about a Creator who loves and acknowledges and values His creation even in the womb. Scripture backs up the value of life even for the preborn. "Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born, I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.'" --Jeremiah 1:4-5
"The Lord called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name."--Isaiah 49:1b
“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works…. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret” --Psalm 139:13-15, NASB
In the New Testament, Jesus has bad things to say about those who harm His little ones. The Bible is not a book that promotes abortion. Instead, the Bible affirms life from a caring, deliberate Creator, and Jesus who came to heal and set free those in bondage, to the Savior who chose to give up his life to save His human creations, offering life in Him. Jesus is about life and love.
Abortion, on the other hand, is about torture and violence against the most innocent among us. Too many abortions, which is the deliberate killing of a preborn child, are done when that child could survive with medical care.
Planned Parenthood likes to abort in a way, when possible, to produce an intact child with a still-beating heart. These living babies are cut up, with no anesthesia, to sell for parts to be used for experimentation or for cell lines. There is big money in the sale of baby parts. Why? Because these babies are living and are fully human.
Abortion is a basic outcome of not believing in the preciousness of each human life. It discounts the value of life itself. This comes from pretending knowable truth doesn’t exist and there is no higher being who values life.
This affects the gun argument. Again, guns don’t kill, people do. It is a choice. When our young people are taught that life doesn’t matter, that it is ok to kill unborn babies, the sick, the elderly, why should they value life? What difference if society or they kill? Murder becomes simply another outlet. After all, those killed might legally have been killed before, and now in some states, even after birth.
The problem is not owning guns nor is it about abortion per se. It is what we feed our and our children’s minds and hearts. Why not instead, teach our children they are precious and special— because they are. Why not lift up a God who loves and cares for them, cares about life, and cares enough to be there for those who follow Him? Why not promote a culture that treats every person born or preborn, disabled or elderly with care and respect? Allow our culture a foundation of faith and the mental and physical health of the nation will rise. We’ll once more become a nation of life instead of death.
© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Feel free to share
https://wels.net/faq/bible-passages-used-to-support-abortion/
https://abort73.com/abortion/exodus_2122_25/
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-misuse-of-exodus-21-22-25-by-pro-choice-advocates
Blog Bio Energy, age and learning what's important
As a child, I had endless energy. I wooshed through my days. In Siren, Wisconsin, I walked from one end of our small town to the other, though I was only in first and second grades. I visited friends, played with pets, and told imaginative stories.
At home, I had chores, such as making my bed and helping to keep things clean. Dad patiently showed us, kids, the proper way to make a bed with the covers smooth, and corners just so. That meant I needed to learn to slow down and not just tug my covers up and forget them.
In Wyoming, I was allowed to wander the hills behind and around our home, in daylight hours only. I carried a pocket knife and my father taught me how to stay clear of rattlesnakes and what to do if I could not.
In Kansas, as a young teen, I contracted Rheumatoid Arthritis. Pain and exhaustion became my companions for years. But thanks to prayer and effort, I entered a more healing phase and regained some of that energy. In college, even from a wheelchair, I actively entered into going places and doing things with friends. After college, extensive surgery got me back on my feet. I married my husband I started my married life.
While I continued to have surgery and I often needed to rest in the afternoon, I was involved in home, church, and community activities. This only increased when our children arrived. Sometimes I was incredibly tired, but I still kept up a schedule of home, writing, and everything else. When my books sold to publishers and were available everywhere, organizations began asking me to speak, adding another layer of activities. I got very good at making and keeping schedules. Sometimes I got stressed out, but I also enjoyed my life.
After the kids left home for college and to start their own families, I settled down to writing and speaking and church activities. My career was going well. I landed a good contract with Harlequin’s Love Inspired brand that’s sold at most book and department stores. Yet, I needed more effort to get everything done on my list each day. I realized I needed to pare down that list. Still, my days were full.
The big change came with a bad fall that put me in the hospital for 2 ½ months, with a trach and feeding tube. While I was eventually able to lose the trach and feeding tube, it took me over a year to fully recover. Now things were different. My aggressive edge was gone. My energy was quickly depleted each day.
Each year, I find it more difficult to complete a long list of things. In fact, it seems to take more and more time to get less and less done. My list is often things that I need to do as well as things I don’t want to forget.
I realized my writing would pass away as would most everything else I did. What mattered was my relationships with Keith, our kids, grandkids, other family and friends. Now, a phone call from family or friends takes precedence over my daily list. I am thankful we are relatively healthy. I am thankful I am still writing and selling. I also still find the energy for those things that matter most. my faith, my family, and the freedom to honor both. I am blessed.
(c) 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Kearney Hub Column 5/30/2022
Feel free to share
I plan my life out a day at a time, so my posting schedule can be erratic.
Sign up for my newsletter and you’ll never miss a post.