1/3/22 1/3/22

Blog Before speaking, remember “soft” words

We used to live in a culture that tolerated, sometimes even encouraged diverse points of view. This respect for one another and for other points of view has eroded into “If you don’t think speak, believe as I do, you are dangerous and must be shut down and stopped.”

This is especially prevalent with those seeking to tear down basic American values and structure. A girl at a family pizza place is asked her opinion and, because it was not a liberal point of view, the word went out and social media blew up in hate that shut down a restaurant run by a family that needed the income to support their family. Thankfully word of the situation got out and decent Americans began going to the restaurant and contributing enough to keep the place in business.

Those who did not like President Trump forced many who worked in his administration to be hounded, hassled, and assaulted in restaurants and other establishments. In many places, police are assaulted and even murdered because hatred has replaced decency, tolerance, and respect.

More and more seek violent solutions rather than peaceful ones. Emotion has replaced thought or consideration of consequences. There are better ways of dealing with disagreements than the BLM chant calling cops “pigs” and calling for them to be “fried like bacon.”

Hatred leads not to resolution but to violence and a corresponding response of violence. It is a cycle that grows more violent and evil. There is another way.

Florence Nightingale changed the nursing profession and garnered respect, but not with violence or disrespect. She was sent with nurses into a war Britain was fighting. The doctors wanted nothing to do with them, but Florence and her nurses quietly tended wounded soldiers and made such a difference, they gained first respect and then the cooperation of the doctors.

Martin Luther King could easily have advocated for violence. Horrible things were done to his people. They were mistreated in shameful ways. Yet King kept working toward reconciliation, worked toward the rights of all races to be treated fairly and with respect. He made a difference, cooling violence and showing Americans a better way.

The path of peace starts by using every peaceful and lawful way possible. It means changing hearts and minds, often one-on-one, with truth, information, and genuine concern—including changing laws as necessary.

Scripture advocates for personal behavior and responsibility. Romans 12:21, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” You could add hate to this. Yet love and good are ultimately stronger than hate and evil, which does nothing but tear down and destroy. The more hate and evil is catered to, the worse the situation becomes.

Change doesn’t start with someone else. It starts with you and me. It starts with letting go of anger, revenge, and hate. It starts as Proverbs 15:1 states, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” How does this play out?

We're furious. We respond and the incident escalates. But what if when we're furious, we think before we speak or act? If what we say does not accuse or add fuel to the fire, most likely, the situation de-escalates, and we can deal rationally with the situation.

Though we live in a vengeful, payback, culture, we don't have to feed into that philosophy. It is not God's way. Want peace? Stand up for truth, yes. But, start by thinking before speaking, writing, texting and speak “soft” words to defuse.

Can you think of a better resolution for the new year than to seek peace and pursue it in our lives, families, and to those around us? May God’s love lead to His peace in our hearts, our behavior, and our world.

4/26/21 4/26/21

Blog Politics Tolerance should always be in fashion

I almost don’t want to get on the Facebook pages of our representatives at any level of government. The vitriol is almost unreal. It is as though, for many Americans, tolerance and basic decency aren’t part of their thought processes or behavior.

For example, what many individuals say on Representative Adrian Smith’s public page should make them hang their heads in shame. Many express opinions with name-calling, accusations, and absolutely no tolerance for someone with another point of view.

This has been building for years as our culture of respect and tolerance has disintegrated. It became especially nasty with those whose hatred for President Trump became almost pathological. Didn’t help when certain Representatives and Senators egged this on by encouraging the public to get in the faces of those in the Trump administration to the point some were accosted on the streets or run out of restaurants.

Have Americans become little more than an angry mob with no sense of looking for facts beyond rumors before reacting? This goes for too many media outlets that spread little more than innuendoes and half-baked assumptions instead of fact-based news.

Such behavior certainly does not speak well for us as citizens. Liking or disliking a president should not lead to such hatred. Even though I really saw Obama and now Bidden as destroying our Constitutional Republic, I refuse to hate them.

I may seek to change things, but never with name-calling, threats, or the spewing I see and read constantly now—behavior that is anything but tolerant. Such behavior changes nothing.

Want to make a difference? Get involved and make changes in a positive way. One way is to get involved with the candidates you like. Another way is to communicate with those who’ve been elected.

But there is a right and a wrong way to do so. It starts with letting go of irrational fury which freezes rational thought.

I have written articles, shared at conferences, and included in my book “Especially For the Christian Writer” how to communicate in a way to be “heard”—in a way others won’t turn you off. This includes letters to businesses, government representatives, and letters to the editor.

If you wish to be taken seriously, make sure you have the facts, let go of the anger that stops rational thinking, and write with passion, but with respect, without name-calling, intimidation, or nastiness. Why should anyone listen to an angry rant that is full of emotion but devoid of facts?

Consider how you want to be approached or treated. Think tolerance. In other words, communicate with respect for the office if not for the other person. If you would not spew garbage to the person face-to-face, then it is certainly not appropriate in print where everyone sees you at your irrational worst.

Ask. What do you really wish to convey? What is the best way to do that in order to be taken seriously? How will I feel about this rant five, ten, and more years down the road? Is this what I wish to teach my kids?

Respect and thoughtfulness will get you much further than spewing anger. Wish to communicate? Calm down, think beyond your anger, and consider long-term consequences. Then communicate in a way to gain a listening ear.

Remember tolerance should always be in fashion.

I plan my life out a day at a time, so my posting schedule can be erratic.

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