Holidays, finances, and time to reassess

We’ve just passed a season of celebrations. We roll right from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas and on to New Year’s Eve. There are parties, decorations to go up, and presents to purchase. December’s budget becomes a horror film all on its own if we do not plan and use restraint on giving as well as travel, even food and lodging costs. By the time the season is over, and the New Year has begun, we can be rung out both physically and emotionally. And for what--so our kids, and/or grandkids can play with the boxes the expensive toys came in? What was the point?

Did we have time to actually talk to family members? Really enjoy our get-togethers? Who wants to look at the expenses we incurred when we open January’s mail? Yikes! Just whom did we think we were impressing? Maybe it is time to reassess priorities.

Holidays are wonderful and have such meaning. It is good to get together as families, to not only eat and fellowship, but also to consider our many blessings and give thanks. When we remember to give thanks, Thanksgiving lifts up instead of drains us.

As for next Christmas, do we have to participate in everything? In traveling, we can set boundaries considering what is best for the health and well-being of our family. Decide to stay home? Use Zoom to reach out to family and friends. As for presents, look at your budget. What can you truly afford? Nothing wrong with shopping discounts and dollar stores. Think about the likes and dislikes of those receiving the gifts. A well-thought-out gift, that doesn’t break the budget, is much better than some expensive do-dad the giver doesn’t even want.

Sometimes it takes more courage to say “No” than yes. As for Christmas, if you’re too busy to celebrate the true meaning of the season, you’ll miss the joy altogether. True joy is in celebrating Jesus who came to earth to bring new life, hope…and joy.

When Keith’s folks were alive and after the Scheidies family got much larger with spouses, kids, grandkids and great-grandkids scheduling was a nightmare. Keith’s mom made it much more simple. She designated the weekend after Thanksgiving as our time of celebration. This became our “Thankmas,” During that weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving,, Christmas, birthdays around that time, and any other special events in our lives. The pressure of trying to juggle different family celebrations became instead a joy of simply spending time together. You can use creativity in your celebrations.

Most of all remember celebrations aren’t about money, gifts or showing off. It is connecting with those we love. A good New Year’s resolution is to commit to going into the next holiday season with a plan, with a budget, and with a way to maximize our fellowship with one another.

A belated--Happy New Year!

© 2023 Carolyn R Scheidies

Column published Kearney Hub 1/10/23

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Blog Bio Celebrations worth effort to make positive memories

From the time we kids started school, birthdays meant having friends over for games, presents, and cake. There was the year in Wisconsin my older sister Karin was sick on her September birthday and in bed, she couldn’t have her friends over. But Mom still managed to make her birthday special. We all went upstairs to her bedroom. Karin had already gotten her first wish, which she could see out the window--snow. My parents also made sure she got her second wish--ice skates.

In Wisconsin, kids started ice skating at a very young age. Karin didn’t have her friends, but she had good wishes, cake, and skates. Mom saw birthdays as something to be celebrated. As we got older, we got to choose what we wanted for our birthday dinners. By our teens often we opted for a couple of close friends to do something special with as well as dinner and Mom’s delicious cake. In Iowa, we lived out in the country, so I opted for a friend and the family. My choice for dinner was sloppy joes and chips.

Mom loved birthdays but loved Christmas even more. She went all out baking a variety of cookies, etc. not only for our family but for an open house for those from church and from wherever we lived at any given time. She’d also make plates of cookies to give away to those unable to attend the open house. Mom provided positive memories. Once I contracted Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and was in constant pain for several years, those memories helped me focus on something good. I learned we need milestones of positive memories to look back on when life isn’t always so nice or when we’re dealing with hurt, pain, or loss.

Celebrations bring people together. Sometimes we don’t realize how important those gatherings can be. When my niece Crystal got married the family gathered. It was a great and fun day. Crystal’s Mom Jenni, Jenni’s siblings and families were all there celebrating--making memories. No one had a clue those memories would have to last a lifetime. It wasn’t long before one of her brothers passed away. That time together, eased some of the grief.

When I turned 70 on January 24th, 2020, our kids, Cassie and Chris, threw me a party at the Mitzy Pavilion Center. Family and friends gathered for pizza, cupcakes, gifts, games, and I received a special hug from my grandson Dane--who doesn’t give hugs. (Of course, he made quite a production of it, and I got pictures.) I loved it.

Keith’s Dad Jiggs was also able to attend. It was good to see him. Keith had fallen on ice in early January and had seriously damaged his ankle. He wasn’t supposed to put any weight on it at all. It meant we couldn’t go visit Dad in the home in Minden. So, it was great getting to spend time with him.

What we didn’t realize was that Covid 19 was about to hit, and we’d all be isolated. I never got to see Jiggs alive in person again. In the summer he fell, was taken to the hospital in Kearney, and, for a time, it appeared he was improving. Then he lost ground and we ended up with a funeral. I am so glad I can look back and remember him smiling and enjoying himself at my birthday.

Don’t let opportunities for celebration go by. We need the encouragement of celebrations. Since we can’t see the future, we also don’t know how important those times may turn out to be. So, take the time, to lift someone up with a celebration.

© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies

Hub column published 5/16/22 titled “Celebrations put exclamation point on life”