Blog Miss those grandkids

When our son Chris’ kids were young, the family moved to Indiana for a job. We were used to seeing them once a week. Now, they were far away. That was before video was built into most computers and cell phones were for more than phone calls. We would so miss the three grandkids, but Chris had a video camera, and the plan was to make regular videos as well as phone calls.

What we didn’t realize was that the kids absolutely hated talking on the phone. Then Chris’ video camera went down. I had no idea the actual grief I would go through having our grandkids so far away. We were thrilled when they moved back to Nebraska a few years later. Every summer they came to stay with us for a week or two until they became teenagers with jobs and other activities. I missed those weeks, but we still got to see them periodically.

Chris’ kids are now young adults and on our way to or from Omaha to visit our daughter and family, we usually stop in Lincoln and go out to eat. Love talking to our grandkids. They are kind and intelligent and I learn from them. We usually find it difficult to say goodbye and head on home.

Our daughter married much later than Chris. Her kids are (in early2022) five and three—a whole different generation from Chris’ kids. But so much fun. We love their smiles. Chris’ kids are almost like an aunt and uncles to Cassie’s kids. We’ve visited for events, holidays, etc. as well to help out with the kids.

During Covid and even now at times, we stay in touch with Cassie’s kids using FaceTime. Ellery puts her hands on her hips.  “Mom, we want to talk to Grampa and Gramma.” We get a call and open FaceTime. Our older grandkids and I stay in touch through email.

We also are all close enough to share holidays—usually in Cassie & Kurt’s home in Papillion. High school graduations and Chris’ kids’ birthdays we celebrate in Lincoln in Chris’ home.

As we get older, the trip east seems longer, but so worth the effort. It was so hard having our older grandkids far away years ago and such a blessing when they moved back. Work and school might mean our grandkids will eventually move further away, but right now I am thankful they are all within three hours of Kearney. We can go there, and they can come here to visit. I am already looking forward to that next visit.

© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies

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Blog Bio My sister, my sibling, my friend

On September 21st, Karin turned 75. Karin’s retirement is as busy as when she worked for Senator Pat Roberts. She is actively involved with her grandchildren, her other family, and many friends. Faith, family, and friends are the most important things in her life.

Karin, born in 1946, is the oldest sibling, I followed in 1950. Our brother Paul was born four years later. As adults we visit, call, and email regularly. However, Karin and I weren’t always friends.

More often than not, we had to share a bedroom. (Our father was a minister who got called to a different church every few years.) Karin wanted a room that was tidy and always looking good. She’d stuff things in the closet or under the bed.

I like organization. If things aren’t perfectly aligned or in place, as long as long as I knew where to find everything, the rest didn’t matter. She pulled shades at least partway down on the windows, preferring a darker room. I love sunlight. I zapped the shades up. We glared at as we tugged the shade furiously up and down until, invariably, the shade broke, and we were in trouble.

Due to how and when we moved, Karin ended up in grades above her classmates. (She was fifteen when she started her high school senior year in a new school.). I preferred the outdoors. Karin was all girl—except she could smash a baseball out of the park. We fought. We argued.

I pushed Karin through a wall Dad was repairing. She kicked me off the bed during nightly devotions with Dad. Oops! We lived in Kansas when Karin left for college. For all our wrangling, I missed her.

Then my life took a turn downward. I contracted Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and within months was in a wheelchair that I did not escape for almost ten years. Those years were difficult years for my family as my parents sought prayer, answers, and medical care.

During those years, Karin was my encourager. Paul was confused with my up-and-down moods due to pain, and frustration. Karin married after college and remained in McPherson, Kansas where she’d gone to college.

We moved to Iowa for a pastorate where I finished high school and started college. In my second year of college, our folks moved to Nebraska so I could attend a four-year college. Though I was in a wheelchair and often required assistance, I graduated.

Mom and Dad bought a house in Kearney planning to retire in this welcoming city. When Dad was called to a church in Canada, this time, Mom, Paul and I stayed in Kearney. After all, Paul and I were in college.

Unexpectedly, at Christmas, Mom died my senior year of a stroke that left Dad and Karin, Paul, and I devastated. In time, Dad married a Canadian lady and settled in International Falls, MN.

Paul and I settled in Kearney. By then, Karin, Paul, and I had become friends. We were close enough to visit now and again as we married and raised our families. Always Karin and Paul were there for me through my many surgeries to get me up and keep me up and walking.

Each of us had to deal with first Mom’s death, then dad’s death when our children were young. We walked through life's difficult circumstances lifting each other up.

Paul’s death in January 2019 of massive heart failure left a huge hole. He was our younger brother. Yes, we have our family, our kids and our wonderful grandkids, but it isn’t the same. Three became two, but with the loss, Karin and I talk more, make sure to pray for one another and each other’s families.

We are different individuals in so many ways and yet we share a heritage of memories, faith, and love. Gone are the days I fought with my sister. Instead, I give thanks each day we still have our faith, our families—and the blessing of one another.
© 2021 Carolyn R. Scheidies
Published 10/11/21 in the Kearney Hub Column

Blog Do I redeem my time by using it wisely?

We live in a society that is ever seeking ways to fill our time. Zip-out of bed in the morning. Zip-off to work to this or that activity or appointment. On Saturday, zip here and there—shopping, cleaning, catching up with “friends” on social media.. (There is always a to-do list.)

Do we take time to slow down and rest, even on Sundays? Sundays can be very full days. Even with a day of “rest,” we manage to keep busy. Work happens whether it's in the office or at home by Zoom or other media. There are still meetings to attend.

School for kids takes up time, even if online. God had something besides our hectic pace in mind when He inspired Paul to pen these words. “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” --Ephesians 5:15-16

What does making the most of our time even mean if it doesn’t mean filling every moment? God isn’t about wearing us out, but in building us up--mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Even He got away from the crowd to pray, to rest, and to be refreshed.

Making the most of our time refers to using our time wisely and in the most beneficial ways for our health and well-being--starting with a daily quiet time to start the day out with a calm, focused mind. Spending time communicating our “higher power” throughout the day, and meditating on His Word, helps us find direction for those hectic days.

How should we spend our time? Doing so wisely means taking time for family, spouse, and children--time to listen, to share, to hug, and to care. It means considering their needs important enough to be there when they need you and be 100% present, not only giving half your attention to them.

It means taking time to teach, to lead, to guide, to be an example. This type of relationship doesn’t just happen. It takes lots of time, effort, and attention.

Using time wisely means spending time with friends and neighbors, and building foundations for the long term. relationships. It means making and taking opportunities to show we care.

Using time wisely--redeeming the time--also means being careful what we put into our hearts, our minds, our homes, and our lives. This includes what we see, read, watch and play. It means time with family and friends isn’t at the bottom of our priority list.

Using time wisely doesn’t happen in a vacuum. We need to take stock of our activities and time, decide priorities, and budget time for those things deemed most to least important—starting by making time for faith, family, and friends.

Remember, redeeming our time is good for health mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Let’s redeem our time for our well-being and the health of those around us.

(C) 2021 Carolyn R Scheidies
Column in Kearney Hub published 2/15/21
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Read more like this in my book.From Listen! Who Me? 

Blog You can make 2021 better than 2020

On Facebook, I’ve seen comments and all sorts of graphics about the year of 2020--of how tired everyone is of the year, and how everyone hopes 2021 will be different--a year everyone hopes is far from disease and death and restrictions and masks, with which everyone is so tired of dealing.

But for all the hopes, it appears many of the restrictions will continue on into a year we all hoped would be different. Already the unintended consequences of restricting individuals and families to their homes is being paid in a variety of ways from increased abuse and suicide, to higher drug and alcohol use and even death from loneliness.

What many do not realize is that mental health matters to physical health, We, and especially children, need to be touched, and hugged. Need to communicate face-to-face. Need to be part of the community in a way that technology, as nice as it is to have, can not. There is no substitute for people being together.

There are differing opinions about masks and restrictions and many other aspects of the situation we’re in. There is hope vaccinesCovid shots will change the picture—the data shows they neither stop one from contracting Covid nor stop the transmission of it.

Still, we hope cases will not only decrease, but new cases stop altogether. In the midst of conflicting information even from “experts,’ we need to find our way for ourselves and our families.

America stands on three pillars--faith, family, and freedom. This pandemic has shaken every one of these pillars in one way or another. However, we don’t have to give in to despair. While this may not be over in the dawn of the New Year, we have hope of an end.

Nothing lasts forever. As for faith, even when we are told not to meet together in large groups, we can still read God’s Word and communicate with God anytime and anyplace.

We can pray for others, especially for those who are ill or grieving. We can reach out to those in need with a letter, a phone call, or a donation.

Our freedom has been greatly impacted and that truly bothers me. Our elderly citizens didn’t vote to be locked away from family and friends--and pay dearly for such a “privilege.” This has been wrong on so many levels.

I am not the only one who, now, has no intention of ever going into a home--if it can at all be avoided. Even in this, attitude matters. We can complain or focus on the positive and we can seek to make changes.

If we want changes, we need to let our Representatives, Senators, Governors, and Mayors know what we think and expect. Let’s do our part to stop Covid-19, but also to realize balance is needed and make our concerns known--through letters to the editor, phone calls, and letters to those making and enforcing restrictions.

Maybe you agree. Maybe you don’t, but you are the citizens. Do your research, beyond government and media sources, knowing they are often very biased. Those for whom we vote are supposed to be our employees, not our masters.

Make tomorrow be different by standing up for faith, family, and freedom. Then 2021 will become the year of hope and change we want so much right now.

© 2021 Carolyn R Scheidies

Published in Kearney Hub 01/04/2021
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