Blog Bio Patience, conflict and learning to let go

I’ve always struggled with patience. I want to wade in and get done what needs doing. When there was conflict, I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to discuss and talk about the issue until it was solved. I really didn’t mind conflict with a purpose.

I didn’t understand until many years into our marriage that not everyone viewed dealing with issues the same way. Instead of hitting a subject while hot, many, like my husband, preferred to go off to a quiet place and think things through first. Only then was he ready to work through the situation. That used to frustrate me. I didn’t like to wait.

I knew patience was a problem. I knew God encourages patience. It is a virtue. I worked at developing more patience—with kids pushing my last button, with situations out my control, with my body that often frustrated my efforts to accomplish one task or another.

Yes, with my writing I could write, rewrite and keep rewriting until the passage shined. Even then, by the time I turned a book manuscript into my editor, I was heartily sick of it.

When I fell and scrambled my brains, when I had to reach into the darkness of my mind for words and concepts, I had to work hard at regaining what I’d lost. When I tried to explain, I’d get stressed when my mind refused to reveal what I wanted. (I knew the information was in my head, I simply couldn’t readily access it.) My impatience actually increased with my serious fall.

I recovered so very much. I could think more or less clearly, I could read, even write again. In time, I was thankful to be able to breathe without a trach, eat and swallow without a feeding tube. But there are changes. I no longer like confrontation.

I avoid some detective, lawyer, and mystery shows I used to enjoy. I still search for words at times, but I have learned to stop and allow the word or phrase to form in my mind. (My husband has gotten pretty good at figuring out what I want to say.)

In many ways, like my speech, I have learned patience. In other ways, I am more impatient. I have a hard time sitting through a two-hour movie. While I used to force myself through any book I started to read, now I am easily bored. I won’t stay with a movie or book once that boredom sets in.

There is nothing wrong with striving for patience. God made me and He knows doing so is not easy for me—especially now. I may be in a new phase of life and there have been changes, but none of that is a surprise to God.

I’ve learned that while my patience is limited, God’s is not. I can let go and let God be God. After all, I have also come to realize God knows my situation and loves and accepts me just the way I am. All I need do, is wait on Him. That’s something we all can do.

(c) 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies

Scheidies' Kearney Hub Column published 7/8/2022

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Blog Bio It has been a long journey to my latest book

As we contemplated whether or not to offer this series as individual books or as a collection, I decided I liked the idea of offering my readers one book for the entire series. I am glad I went this direction. Who knows what tomorrow might bring with health and other issues? The full trilogy is now published, and I am happy with the result.

Three Sisters of Stanhavon Castle has been released. It is a collection of three complete inspirational Regency romance novels that make up a series. We decided on this direction because it takes enormous effort not only to write and prepare a book for publication but also to market a book properly.

As a child, I loved listening to Dad read everything from Alice in Wonderland, the original to books about people from Martin Luther to Bible storybooks and Bible passages. Those characters on the page fascinated me. Long before I entered school, I learned the alphabet. I learned to put letters together At, Bat, Cat on down, even little rhymes.

How exciting to actually read in school and to be able to take home my very first book. I became a voracious reader. My imagination flew. In elementary school, I began writing some stories. By third grade, I dreamed of being a writer.

Once my parents read my writing, they encouraged me. In Kansas, I contracted Juvenile Rheumatoid arthritis and soon rode a wheelchair, not my horse. Those years were filled with pain and frustrations, I poured out in my writing.

In high school, I placed in some writing competitions. When dad took a church in Iowa, we discovered a published author in the congregation. She showed me how to format my work, research, and send my work to appropriate markets. With her assistance, I began selling children’s stories and features. Features led me to pursue a comprehensive degree in journalism from UNK (then KSC). In fact, we moved to Kearney so I could attend college--at a time no one was too concerned about wheelchair accessibility.

By the time I graduated, I regularly sold features and program material (skits, recitations, plays) to several different markets. I also had extensive surgery to walk again. After I married, I continued to freelance. For my birthday one year, my friend Gloria gave me a novel. She challenged me, “You can do better than this.”

I took the challenge. It was ten years of learning my craft, effort, and time before I sold my first novel. I wrote several books for Barbour Publishing’s Heartsong Presents line before moving to Trebleheart Books where I released several more books—including my first complete series.

I also worked with several small publishers, had some good agents, and finally landed contracts with Harlequin--the publisher with all those books in Walmart, Target, etc. Then a company bought Harlequin and forced them to delete some lines. One was the line I wrote for. After I had a severe fall my writing was sidelined. When I returned to writing, I worked on updating books for which I’d received back my rights. Some I resold. Others I brought out under my own imprint. I also wrote the draft of a new series. I worked on it now and again, while I released other non-series books.

In 2021 I returned to my series Three Sisters of Stanhavon Castle. This time I rewrote, reworked, and edited. It took most of the year, but it was done and ready for release before the holidays. It was such fun to give away this book to friends and family. For now, my attention will be on my novel and my Hub columns. We’ll see where my writing takes me after that. Who knows, I may be more surprised than anyone else.

Have a dream? Don’t let it go. Take the steps needed in practice, education, and growing—including the willingness to accept suggestions and constructive criticism--to make that dream come true.

(c) 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies

Published Hub Column 3/21/2022

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