Blog Bio Cowboys, Horse, a different Dream

My dad often said as soon as I began to crawl, I’d head toward the nearest horse. When my folks went to the hospital to have my younger brother, I got to stay with a farm family who had a horse. At four years old, I thought I’d gone to heaven when they allowed me to ride. God was good.

In Clitheral Minnesota, we didn’t have a TV set, but I walked across the street to a friend’s house to watch westerns such as Roy Rogers and the Lone Ranger. I even had Roy Rogers paper dolls. (Not for me sissy girl paper dolls.) In Wisconsin, I had a longer walk to watch TV. I prayed for a horse of my own.

When Dad told us he’d taken a church in Wyoming, my older sister groaned. I couldn’t wait to go. The parsonage was across the street from the home of a friend who had his own horse, Rocket. Both Karin and I got to ride the paint horse with our friend. Rocket was a gentle ride unless you tried to force him into a trot when riding double. Then you’d find yourself on the ground—often on one of the many cactus patches. We still did it. (Kids don’t always do the smartest things.) Riding Rocket gave me experience.

Finally, when we moved to a country church in Northwest Kansas, I was able to get a retired show mare through the 4-H program. I took care of the horse. I rode the horse. The deal was that after breeding the chestnut mare, the resulting foal was mine to keep. Finally, in 7th grade, my dream came true. I had my own horse. God was indeed good.

Unfortunately, at about the same time I contracted Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. I spent the next ten years in a wheelchair rather than on a horse. However, having the horse, and having to plan how to train my foal, kept me motivated to live instead of quitting when I could see no future but pain and limitations. My thought went more to a question. “What are you thinking God?”

Eventually, we no longer lived where I could keep my horse. I agreed to sell my horse as a polo pony out East. I kept my horse interest by reading books—fiction and non-fiction with and about horses. I followed the Triple Crown. Secretariat’s story helped me as I dealt with massive reconstructive surgery and to finally walk again. If Secretariat could become a victor maybe I could as well.

When I began to write and sell books, many historical in nature, I could write with authenticity about horses. Though I really never rode horses after I got sick, my love motivated me, helped me through rough times, and assisted in my chosen career. I may not have become a jockey or a horsemaster, but I learned and grew and walked again, at least partly, because of my obsession with horses. I can’t help but smile. Guess God did know what He was doing after all. God is indeed good.

© 2023 Carolyn R Scheidies

Hub column published 2/22/2023

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Blog How to balance family, technology

We live in a culture where even intact families may not spend much time together as a family. There are long work hours, especially in a struggling economy. There is school for the kids, jobs, and maybe even taking care of elderly family members.

But aside from those more normal situations, we are inundated with technology. For many, their cell phones connect the owners to work and, even at home, they are involved with their job. We give our children cell phones at a young age and they learn to text and communicate with friends at all hours of the day and, too often, at night as well.

Others become addicted to video games and spend as much time as possible gaming alone or with friends. In fact, every member of the family may have reason to be on their cell phones, tablets, or computers. Virtual experiences often take the place of real face-to-face connections.

Online friendships are shallow and transient and can turn quickly into bullying if one says the wrong thing or in the wrong way. Even when the family gathers for a meal, they aren’t really sharing their day when each is ready to check their cell phones when they whirr or beep. “I’ve got to get this.”

Technology, if not restricted with boundaries, separates and divides friends and families. It is hard to take interest in your child sitting at the table trying to share about his or her day, when mom or dad won’t stop looking at their phone, answering texts or emails, or playing a game.

How discouraging to know, as a child, you are not more important to your parents than their technology. Why not immerse yourself in your phone? It is certainly better than being ignored. Many children spend so much time on their phones, playing games, or watching videos, they never learn how to focus and their bodies do not get enough exercise to keep them healthy.

Families lose out when they build faux relationships through technology rather than appreciating, interacting, and caring for their real family who needs them. Children need parents who care by being present, by listening and responding, and who aren’t always sneaking looks at their phones.

Families and individuals to be healthy need time away from technology. Time with others to talk, interact, laugh, and share. It may take setting boundaries for parents as well as children.

Boundaries may include the following though your guidelines will depend on your family: Eating at least one meal a day together as a family--actually asking questions and listening.
No tablets or cell phones are at the table.
When someone wants to speak to you, give them your full attention--no sneak cell peaks.
No technology after lights out--even if that means collecting tablets and phones before bedtime.
Schedule time as a family to play card or board games. There are any number of games that can involve the whole family.

These are only a few ideas for having healthier relationships between technology, yourself, and your family.

Yes, I love my laptop and tablet. We still have a home phone, but I wouldn’t leave home without my cell. I see it not only as a way to keep in touch, not only to be able to use the GPS function as I can get lost in a paper bag, but also as a safety in case something happens, and we need emergency services.

But setting boundaries makes our lives richer and our families stronger. Today is a good day to start caring enough to set some restrictions.

© 2021 Carolyn R Scheidies
My Kearney Hub column published 12/06/2021
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