Holidays, finances, and time to reassess

We’ve just passed a season of celebrations. We roll right from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas and on to New Year’s Eve. There are parties, decorations to go up, and presents to purchase. December’s budget becomes a horror film all on its own if we do not plan and use restraint on giving as well as travel, even food and lodging costs. By the time the season is over, and the New Year has begun, we can be rung out both physically and emotionally. And for what--so our kids, and/or grandkids can play with the boxes the expensive toys came in? What was the point?

Did we have time to actually talk to family members? Really enjoy our get-togethers? Who wants to look at the expenses we incurred when we open January’s mail? Yikes! Just whom did we think we were impressing? Maybe it is time to reassess priorities.

Holidays are wonderful and have such meaning. It is good to get together as families, to not only eat and fellowship, but also to consider our many blessings and give thanks. When we remember to give thanks, Thanksgiving lifts up instead of drains us.

As for next Christmas, do we have to participate in everything? In traveling, we can set boundaries considering what is best for the health and well-being of our family. Decide to stay home? Use Zoom to reach out to family and friends. As for presents, look at your budget. What can you truly afford? Nothing wrong with shopping discounts and dollar stores. Think about the likes and dislikes of those receiving the gifts. A well-thought-out gift, that doesn’t break the budget, is much better than some expensive do-dad the giver doesn’t even want.

Sometimes it takes more courage to say “No” than yes. As for Christmas, if you’re too busy to celebrate the true meaning of the season, you’ll miss the joy altogether. True joy is in celebrating Jesus who came to earth to bring new life, hope…and joy.

When Keith’s folks were alive and after the Scheidies family got much larger with spouses, kids, grandkids and great-grandkids scheduling was a nightmare. Keith’s mom made it much more simple. She designated the weekend after Thanksgiving as our time of celebration. This became our “Thankmas,” During that weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving,, Christmas, birthdays around that time, and any other special events in our lives. The pressure of trying to juggle different family celebrations became instead a joy of simply spending time together. You can use creativity in your celebrations.

Most of all remember celebrations aren’t about money, gifts or showing off. It is connecting with those we love. A good New Year’s resolution is to commit to going into the next holiday season with a plan, with a budget, and with a way to maximize our fellowship with one another.

A belated--Happy New Year!

© 2023 Carolyn R Scheidies

Column published Kearney Hub 1/10/23

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New Year New or The Same old?

We look at the new year as a time to regroup, make better choices and change things about ourselves emotionally, intellectually, or physically. Whether or not the past year was overall positive or negative, we know this past year has been filled with things we should or should not have said or done. We are not perfect individuals, though often while we refuse to accept certain mistakes and choices from others, we very often make excuses for ourselves when we make the very same mistakes or choices.

We view the new year as a fresh slate, clean pages on which to write a different story—one in which we are better, brighter, more caring, or whatever changes we feel are needed. Many make resolutions to act better, eat better, exercise, lose weight, or some combination of ways we see we need to change. When we’re honest with ourselves, we know that such commitments seldom lasted before. Though sometimes we actually follow a resolution for a week, a month, or two.

Then we find ourselves falling back into old habits and patterns of behavior. We feel like failures and scramble to find excuses. What we hate to admit is that we cannot do everything ourselves. We can only do so much despite our determination and desire to be independent. Our culture wants us to believe most of us are “good people.” Yet if we’re honest and really search our lives, we know different.

Jesus didn’t come for “good people.” In fact, if you are “a good person,” you have no need of a Savior. Jesus came for those who acknowledge the truth. We are not good and tend more toward evil than righteousness. For those willing to admit that “All (this includes you and me) have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23) there is hope.

Jesus didn’t come for those puffed up with pride and arrogance or those who wish to be totally independent. He came for those who know they need help. “God commended His love toward us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

The message of Christmas is a baby who left heaven to be born into a human body so that He might lead us back to a relationship with Him. Back to love and hope and peace. He lived a life of sacrifice and caring. He taught us about the consequences of our mistakes. Deliberate bad choices=sin.

He also gave His life for all the ways we mess up our lives and the lives of those around us. He was tortured and crucified not for anything wrong He’d done, but for the wrong we’ve done. By His death, He offered us life and by conquering death He lives to give us true freedom as we choose to let go of our independence and messed-up lives, allow Him to come in, clean us up and make us truly whole.

In the new year, we don’t need to make resolutions or try to do better all on our own. Jesus instead asks us to become fully devoted followers, which means turning toward and not away from Him when life doesn’t follow our plan or when we deal with pain or tragedy.

A follower doesn’t expect roses and sunshine all the time. Sometimes life is hard. Will we still follow? Will we continue to grow in the knowledge of the One, through prayer, God’s Word & circumstances, realizing He has a good plan for our lives as we follow no matter what—.not for perks—but because Jesus really is the only “Way, the truth and the life.” (John 14:6)

Are you a Christian in name only or are you ready to truly devote your life to He who created, knows, and loves you best?

Happy New Year!

© 2023 Carolyn R Scheidies

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Don’t spend the holidays alone—reach out

Temperatures are cooling outside. Getting downright cold in the mornings. Fall has sneaked up on us. Winter is not far behind. With the change in seasons to fall and, soon, winter, we turn our thoughts to family gatherings.

The Scheidies family likes getting together, though that was much simpler when there were fewer of us. Now we have siblings—my husband Keith and his brothers and sister, kids, grandkids, and even great-grandkids. It makes for quite a household when we gather together at the family farm near Minden. Of course, on the farm, when it isn’t too cold, kids can play outside with uncles giving rides on the four-wheeler or even on a burro. We have found we have more room at the Mitzi Pavilion at Yanney Park. We do both—gather at the farm Saturday night. and gather someplace in Kearney, often the Pavilion, for Sunday morning brunch.

My family is much smaller, and we are more far-flung so don’t get together as often. Still, my sister-in-law lives a few blocks south of us in Kearney, and my sister, her kids, and grandkids live in Kansas. Other relatives live in Minnesota, California, and other places.

Even so, sometimes Keith and I find ourselves alone for some holidays as our kids have other relatives and plans. We often include my brother Paul’s widow. In fact, we sometimes invite friends over to play board games and offer snacks for supper.

I know Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve are difficult times to be alone. This may happen when someone has no family left or family too far away. Sometimes, in the case of our daughter, every other year it is her husband’s family year to have them for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Holidays can get lonely, and it is easy to slide into feeling bad and depressed.

But we don’t have to turn joyful holidays into times of sadness. One couple I know planned holidays around those who would otherwise spend holidays alone. They’d invite these individuals home and hold a regular feast.

We all have friends, acquaintances, and even family who might be alone. We can change that. We don’t have to be depressed and lonely. We can reach out to others who, for whatever reason, are spending a holiday alone. Might be a neighbor, someone from church, a family member or friend. Make an effort to reach out. Invite them to your house or make plans to meet at a restaurant. Is someone not in good health? Take them a meal and stay to visit for a while.

By looking beyond ourselves we find fulfillment and the very joy of the holiday as we reach out, deepen, or make new friendships. Thinking of others helps us take the focus off ourselves and helps us realize how blessed we truly are.

Don’t spend the holidays alone—reach out.

© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies

Kearney Hub column published 11/16/22

Blog Why we must nourish hope

A new year always brings a sense of newness and hope. We let the old year go, sometimes with regret, lately more with relief. Surely the new year will be better, safer, and more back to normal. Of course, that’s what we were told about 2021. And yet, hope still rises for a future better than the past couple of years.

We have hope because that capacity is built not in our culture or race, but within the very fabric of our DNA. A farmer may plant a crop looking for a harvest due to years of farming and experience. But however many years of experience a farmer may have, farming carries risk.

It is hope that makes a difference, providing the farmer the edge that there will be a harvest and it will be good. Hope is a large component of almost every endeavor from investments and inventions to personal relationships.

Marriage begins with love, faith that the relationship will last, and hope that it will. When we do something to hurt someone, when we apologize we do so with the hope a relationship can be restored. What is interesting about hope is that it is often dashed in light of reality, and yet, we move forward with an element of hope.

Orbison Sweet Marsden said, “There is no medicine like hope. No incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow.

Hope may not seem all that important until it is gone, leaving only darkness and the belief that life is no longer worth living. Losing hope means losing everything. Losing hope leads to depression, anger and even quitting to the point of taking one’s life.

This is why we need to nourish hope in ourselves and others, especially our children. It is filling our minds with life-affirming words, pictures, and other media. It is lifting up through encouragement--a letter, a phone call, an email, or even a text can make a difference in someone else’s life.

Only a short time into the new year and our resolutions are most likely broken. We wonder why we bothered to make them. But broken resolutions can become the foundation for hope and a better tomorrow--regardless of our circumstances.

Life will never be all roses and sunshine. Bad days, weeks happen. There are illnesses, cancer, and death. Tragedies happen. Hope is the difference between wallowing in the hurt and pain and allowing time to grieve, but still moving forward with faith and hope.

John Greenleaf Whittier wrote, “Behind the cloud the starlight lurks,
Through showers the sunbeams fall,
For God, who loveth all His works,
Has left His hope for all.

In this new year, let us choose to always keep hope alive.

Faith will help us get there.

© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Kearney Hub Column published 01/17/22
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Blog Before speaking, remember “soft” words

We used to live in a culture that tolerated, sometimes even encouraged diverse points of view. This respect for one another and for other points of view has eroded into “If you don’t think speak, believe as I do, you are dangerous and must be shut down and stopped.”

This is especially prevalent with those seeking to tear down basic American values and structure. A girl at a family pizza place is asked her opinion and, because it was not a liberal point of view, the word went out and social media blew up in hate that shut down a restaurant run by a family that needed the income to support their family. Thankfully word of the situation got out and decent Americans began going to the restaurant and contributing enough to keep the place in business.

Those who did not like President Trump forced many who worked in his administration to be hounded, hassled, and assaulted in restaurants and other establishments. In many places, police are assaulted and even murdered because hatred has replaced decency, tolerance, and respect.

More and more seek violent solutions rather than peaceful ones. Emotion has replaced thought or consideration of consequences. There are better ways of dealing with disagreements than the BLM chant calling cops “pigs” and calling for them to be “fried like bacon.”

Hatred leads not to resolution but to violence and a corresponding response of violence. It is a cycle that grows more violent and evil. There is another way.

Florence Nightingale changed the nursing profession and garnered respect, but not with violence or disrespect. She was sent with nurses into a war Britain was fighting. The doctors wanted nothing to do with them, but Florence and her nurses quietly tended wounded soldiers and made such a difference, they gained first respect and then the cooperation of the doctors.

Martin Luther King could easily have advocated for violence. Horrible things were done to his people. They were mistreated in shameful ways. Yet King kept working toward reconciliation, worked toward the rights of all races to be treated fairly and with respect. He made a difference, cooling violence and showing Americans a better way.

The path of peace starts by using every peaceful and lawful way possible. It means changing hearts and minds, often one-on-one, with truth, information, and genuine concern—including changing laws as necessary.

Scripture advocates for personal behavior and responsibility. Romans 12:21, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” You could add hate to this. Yet love and good are ultimately stronger than hate and evil, which does nothing but tear down and destroy. The more hate and evil is catered to, the worse the situation becomes.

Change doesn’t start with someone else. It starts with you and me. It starts with letting go of anger, revenge, and hate. It starts as Proverbs 15:1 states, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” How does this play out?

We're furious. We respond and the incident escalates. But what if when we're furious, we think before we speak or act? If what we say does not accuse or add fuel to the fire, most likely, the situation de-escalates, and we can deal rationally with the situation.

Though we live in a vengeful, payback, culture, we don't have to feed into that philosophy. It is not God's way. Want peace? Stand up for truth, yes. But, start by thinking before speaking, writing, texting and speak “soft” words to defuse.

Can you think of a better resolution for the new year than to seek peace and pursue it in our lives, families, and to those around us? May God’s love lead to His peace in our hearts, our behavior, and our world.

© 2022 Carolyn R Scheidies
Kearney Hub column 01/03/2022
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