5/22/23 5/22/23

Blog Importance of Friends

There are some people who avoid friendships. Maybe they’ve felt hurt or betrayed and don’t want to go through that hurt again. Others gather “friends” like so much confetti, but while they can boast about their many “friends,” most of these friends are scarcely more than acquaintances. Those who gather such friends feel the need to have attention or to feel superior to others. Real friends don’t fit either category.

I don’t know what we’d do without our friends. Yes, I have friends who I don’t know well and others I’ve known, it seems, forever. I have friends, like my brother and sister, who were not friends when we grew up. Like most siblings, we fought, we made up, got angry, let it go. Eventually, we accepted our differences and as we became adults, also became friends. We had each other’s back. Family makes very special friends because they know your background, share that history, and accept you anyway.

I have friends that hark back to my college days. These friends have stood the test of time. We’ve had disagreements, but we’ve learned to apologize and forgive. Both of which are critical to long-term friendships. We have friends we can call day or night and they will come. We have friends so close our kids sometimes thought they had two sets of parents because we spent so much time together and because we had no problem babysitting each other’s kids when necessary.

Over the years I discovered how much I need my friends. They encourage me. They confront me when needed—that takes a measure of courage, time, and trust. They support me and provide rides when needed, since I don’t drive.

But where do these long-term friendships come from? They develop when we let go new and old hurts, when we seek more than attention, more than a focus on “MY” needs. They develop when we reach out beyond ourselves to become the sort of friends we crave. To have friends, we have to start by being a friend. I am so glad that, over the years, I’ve taken the time and effort to build solid friendships.

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace." --1 Peter 4:8-10

Published column Kearney Hub 5/22/2023

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11/8/22 11/8/22

Blog Bio I said “No!” to repainting the walls

***Photo by*** ***JOSHUA COLEMAN*** on ***Unsplash***

As I sit at the dining table with my laptop, I look up at the walls. From here I can see parts of the kitchen, hall, and living room walls. While I have an office, I prefer working here where I can look out the window at the park and not feel closed in.

A while ago my sister was helping me decorate and said she’d be glad to repaint the walls. I shook my head, “No!” I’m not ready to change my walls. While faux painting might not be the latest fashion any longer, I love my walls. Looking at these walls brings back many positive memories.

When the walls were painted, our kids were teens and didn’t need all that much supervision. We also were headed out to a Fredrickson Family Reunion in Northern Minnesota. In fact, we took over the whole resort for the week. It was a wonderful week of food, family, boating, swimming, games, and, of course, shopping.

While we were gone, our friends made plans. Paul, the PA for my orthopedist, and Paul’s wife were both close friends. At that time, we had a circle of close friends. Since I would be coming home for surgery in the near future, which would keep me housebound for a while, our friends decided our house could use a makeover. While we were gone, they cleaned did some minor repairs, and sponge-painted the walls, and, from what they said later, had a fun time doing so. Our friends had planned to finish up and put everything back before we arrived home.

We had no idea our friends planned to do this. We also had planned to take our time coming home, breaking up the fifteen-hour drive into two days. But, once we got on the road, we didn’t want to stop. All we wanted to do was be home. We took food and other breaks, but we didn’t stop for the night.

It was late by the time we arrived home. I think our son Chris took the key and opened the front door. We followed him in. We stared at our house. Remember furniture hadn’t been put back in place as yet. In confusion, we backed out again and checked our address. Was this our house? Yes, it was. Entering again, we stared at all that had been accomplished that week. It felt like a new house.

How could we even begin to thank our friends for all they’d done for us? We couldn’t, but we could give thanks and accept the blessing they’d provided. Our friends were so excited to see our response. No, I am not ready to repaint my walls. I may have those memories stored inside my heart but seeing them every day also reminds me to give thanks for friends and their willingness to take their time and effort—and money—to redo our home.

Despite the hurts and sorrows of life, we can look up and be thankful when we take time to remember those walls in our lives and count our blessings.

Published in Kearney Hub as my column 11/08/2022

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8/30/22 8/30/22

Long Term Friends

Thankful for Jeff & Gloria and other dear friends.

I am thankful for long term friends,
The kind who rally round
in times of trouble,
Who don’t expect a return
For their efforts or time,
Who give with a hug and a smile,
And give again,
Who cry when I cry,
And laugh with, not at me when I laugh,
Who make me want to give back in return
In time of hurt and need.
For, together, we make the world
A better place,
because We are friends.

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6/14/22 6/14/22

Blog Bio Time for a Different car

Little did we know, in an accident, this car helped protect us.

After Keith retired several years ago, we were able to purchase the car of our dreams. Most of our married life we had old cars that didn’t stress out our extremely tight budget. It felt good to be able to purchase something better. We found a car both of us could get in and out of fairly easily. Though, of course, we cared about what was under the hood, we were excited that we found a car that worked in “our” color—a deep burgundy red. I also loved the heated seats.

That car gave us good service and we never stopped liking that car. However, we are older, we don’t bend as easily. Also, we needed to keep our front seats back. That meant we basically had very little room in the back seat. Certainly, it wasn’t comfortable for adults. Keith needed a car that was easier to get in and out of without pain. Further, we planned to vacation with friends in August, now that they are also retired. Our car would not do.

Finally, we headed to Midway after lunch. Keith made it clear to the salesman assisting us that we weren’t planning to buy that day. We were simply in the looking stage. In his office, he brought up a car meeting our requirements. And it was red. You bet we’d take a look.

The more he talked about the car, the better it seemed to meet our expectations. Yes, getting in and out went well. The sticker price was a surprise for that much car, which was only couple years old. Wow! Our drive was great.

Who knew God would make sure the very car we needed was on the lot—let go by a couple who, after buying it, sold it back because they had been assigned to go overseas as missionaries. So, instead of looking at other cars, we found ourselves back in the office filling out a pile of paperwork to purchase the car.

The car now sits in our garage, and we can’t believe the speed with which this went down. We expected a drawn out process, but God knows our abilities and energy. While I doubted we’d find a car we liked and in our color, God smiled and blessed us anyway. How can I not trust He cares.

I am thankful for our new-to-us car.

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6/8/21 6/8/21

Blog Bio New hope as pandemic gives way to hugs

It’s a new day. More and more individuals are leaving masks behind, along with their fears. Others are no longer afraid to greet family, neighbors and friends. Six feet is too far away these days. Hugs are back in though most ask before making that move.

Do you know how good hugs feel after a year without them? Hugs, time together, and face-to-face conversations are not only something humans do, but an essential part of being mentally as well as physically whole and healthy. We haven’t been healthy as a culture for over a year, a year given over to fears and wondering what and whom to believe about our medical well-being.

Spring has brought new hope and sunshine as well as needed rain. It has opened doors for us to reach out to one another again. We had close friends drop by for a few moments to say “hi.” and to give us a loaf of homemade banana bread bought on a jaunt out of town.

Another neighbor who was walking by with her little dog stopped in when she saw our friend’s car. Not much time then, but we checked out schedules and made plans to meet at Perkins in a couple of days. That was the beginning of the evening.

Two days later, Keith and I got out of the house for haircuts. Got out to buy pots of flowers for cemetery plots for Memorial Day. Got out to meet our friends for supper. We ate, laughed, talked and simply enjoyed each other’s company. After last year we valued our time together.

After supper, we met back at our house and gathered around our card table to play a game Keith bought that had us using words from songs we recalled. It was one of those games in which coming up with songs from the trigger words was fun even if you were in last place on the board.

Again we laughed, talked, and checked up some songs on cell phones. No one cared who moved the pieces on the board. We were friends from long-standing, who knew each other, trusted each other and had always been there for one another. Now we were able to enjoy being together as we hadn’t been able to do during the last year.

We played two games filled with songs, conversation and laughter. Overhead, the sky thundered. Rain fell. It was time to break up and for our friends to head home. We said our goodbyes and watched them go.

For some, it was a small thing, friends getting together. I saw it differently. Friendships had been renewed and deepened. My lips curved into a smile and my heart filled with joy as I filed away a brand-new and precious memory.

My husband and I decided to make this evening a beginning for friends, fellowship, fun--and the making of positive memories. Is it time for you to do the same?

I plan my life out a day at a time, so my posting schedule can be erratic.

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