1/12/23 1/12/23

Holidays, finances, and time to reassess

We’ve just passed a season of celebrations. We roll right from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas and on to New Year’s Eve. There are parties, decorations to go up, and presents to purchase. December’s budget becomes a horror film all on its own if we do not plan and use restraint on giving as well as travel, even food and lodging costs. By the time the season is over, and the New Year has begun, we can be rung out both physically and emotionally. And for what--so our kids, and/or grandkids can play with the boxes the expensive toys came in? What was the point?

Did we have time to actually talk to family members? Really enjoy our get-togethers? Who wants to look at the expenses we incurred when we open January’s mail? Yikes! Just whom did we think we were impressing? Maybe it is time to reassess priorities.

Holidays are wonderful and have such meaning. It is good to get together as families, to not only eat and fellowship, but also to consider our many blessings and give thanks. When we remember to give thanks, Thanksgiving lifts up instead of drains us.

As for next Christmas, do we have to participate in everything? In traveling, we can set boundaries considering what is best for the health and well-being of our family. Decide to stay home? Use Zoom to reach out to family and friends. As for presents, look at your budget. What can you truly afford? Nothing wrong with shopping discounts and dollar stores. Think about the likes and dislikes of those receiving the gifts. A well-thought-out gift, that doesn’t break the budget, is much better than some expensive do-dad the giver doesn’t even want.

Sometimes it takes more courage to say “No” than yes. As for Christmas, if you’re too busy to celebrate the true meaning of the season, you’ll miss the joy altogether. True joy is in celebrating Jesus who came to earth to bring new life, hope…and joy.

When Keith’s folks were alive and after the Scheidies family got much larger with spouses, kids, grandkids and great-grandkids scheduling was a nightmare. Keith’s mom made it much more simple. She designated the weekend after Thanksgiving as our time of celebration. This became our “Thankmas,” During that weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving,, Christmas, birthdays around that time, and any other special events in our lives. The pressure of trying to juggle different family celebrations became instead a joy of simply spending time together. You can use creativity in your celebrations.

Most of all remember celebrations aren’t about money, gifts or showing off. It is connecting with those we love. A good New Year’s resolution is to commit to going into the next holiday season with a plan, with a budget, and with a way to maximize our fellowship with one another.

A belated--Happy New Year!

Column published Kearney Hub 1/10/23

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12/31/22 12/31/22

New Year New or The Same old?

We look at the new year as a time to regroup, make better choices and change things about ourselves emotionally, intellectually, or physically. Whether or not the past year was overall positive or negative, we know this past year has been filled with things we should or should not have said or done. We are not perfect individuals, though often while we refuse to accept certain mistakes and choices from others, we very often make excuses for ourselves when we make the very same mistakes or choices.

We view the new year as a fresh slate, clean pages on which to write a different story—one in which we are better, brighter, more caring, or whatever changes we feel are needed. Many make resolutions to act better, eat better, exercise, lose weight, or some combination of ways we see we need to change. When we’re honest with ourselves, we know that such commitments seldom lasted before. Though sometimes we actually follow a resolution for a week, a month, or two.

Then we find ourselves falling back into old habits and patterns of behavior. We feel like failures and scramble to find excuses. What we hate to admit is that we cannot do everything ourselves. We can only do so much despite our determination and desire to be independent. Our culture wants us to believe most of us are “good people.” Yet if we’re honest and really search our lives, we know different.

Jesus didn’t come for “good people.” In fact, if you are “a good person,” you have no need of a Savior. Jesus came for those who acknowledge the truth. We are not good and tend more toward evil than righteousness. For those willing to admit that “All (this includes you and me) have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23) there is hope.

Jesus didn’t come for those puffed up with pride and arrogance or those who wish to be totally independent. He came for those who know they need help. “God commended His love toward us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

The message of Christmas is a baby who left heaven to be born into a human body so that He might lead us back to a relationship with Him. Back to love and hope and peace. He lived a life of sacrifice and caring. He taught us about the consequences of our mistakes. Deliberate bad choices=sin.

He also gave His life for all the ways we mess up our lives and the lives of those around us. He was tortured and crucified not for anything wrong He’d done, but for the wrong we’ve done. By His death, He offered us life and by conquering death He lives to give us true freedom as we choose to let go of our independence and messed-up lives, allow Him to come in, clean us up and make us truly whole.

In the new year, we don’t need to make resolutions or try to do better all on our own. Jesus instead asks us to become fully devoted followers, which means turning toward and not away from Him when life doesn’t follow our plan or when we deal with pain or tragedy.

A follower doesn’t expect roses and sunshine all the time. Sometimes life is hard. Will we still follow? Will we continue to grow in the knowledge of the One, through prayer, God’s Word & circumstances, realizing He has a good plan for our lives as we follow no matter what—.not for perks—but because Jesus really is the only “Way, the truth and the life.” (John 14:6)

Are you a Christian in name only or are you ready to truly devote your life to He who created, knows, and loves you best?

Happy New Year!

Feel free to pass on

12/14/22 12/14/22

The sad story of Christmas Sweaters

***Photo by*** ***Cody Chan*** on ***Unsplash***

Christmas is a time of joy. It is a time for generosity and reaching out to those who don’t have as much as we might have. Most of all, it is the celebration of the coming to earth of the Savior who brought life and love to all who follow Him. This is the foundation of the celebration even with the addition of Santa Claus and other fun traditions.

New clothes were often part of Christmas for church and school Christmas programs and more. As Winter was part of the celebration for most, sweaters were an essential part of a person’s wardrobe. In the spirit of the season, many made or bought sweaters in Christmas colors of red and green. As time passed, many sweaters became more elaborate with stars and glitter, Christmas trees or ornaments—some facet of the season.

Individuals enjoyed these sweaters. The Christmas sweaters not only added practical warmth but also enhanced their enjoyment of the season. Wearing these sweaters made the wearer happy, even those sweaters that were a bit over-the-top with decorations. But then some decided to turn this fun tradition on its head. Instead of focusing on the fun and enjoyment of the sweaters, there were those, including celebrities, who began to make fun of Christmas sweaters, pointing out how ugly many of them really were. There were even ugly sweater parties and prizes for the ugliest sweater at other events and parties.

Many got into the “fun” of finding and wearing “Ugly” sweaters. But in a season and a holiday meant to lift up and bring joy, this trend has had another less-than-joyful result. Those who used to feel joy in their Christmas sweaters now need to be ready to be teased or insulted when wearing what once made them happy. They can take the teasing, pretending it doesn’t bother them, or they can leave that sweater in the closet.

How we approach something does matter. Why are we so quick to get on the bandwagon for the trend that can be long-term hurtful and creates fission in a holiday that should welcome fun sweaters, without making fun? Too many are ashamed or, at least, uncomfortable wearing Christmas sweaters these days, even ones that are fairly mild in coloring and decoration.

Maybe we all need to think about getting decked out in our sweaters, be joyful as we celebrate the season, and begin a new trend—feeling good about a warm sweater in Christmas colors that makes us happy.

Published as Hub Column: Sad story about sweaters

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11/17/22 11/17/22

Don’t spend the holidays alone—reach out

Temperatures are cooling outside. Getting downright cold in the mornings. Fall has sneaked up on us. Winter is not far behind. With the change in seasons to fall and, soon, winter, we turn our thoughts to family gatherings.

The Scheidies family likes getting together, though that was much simpler when there were fewer of us. Now we have siblings—my husband Keith and his brothers and sister, kids, grandkids, and even great-grandkids. It makes for quite a household when we gather together at the family farm near Minden. Of course, on the farm, when it isn’t too cold, kids can play outside with uncles giving rides on the four-wheeler or even on a burro. We have found we have more room at the Mitzi Pavilion at Yanney Park. We do both—gather at the farm Saturday night. and gather someplace in Kearney, often the Pavilion, for Sunday morning brunch.

My family is much smaller, and we are more far-flung so don’t get together as often. Still, my sister-in-law lives a few blocks south of us in Kearney, and my sister, her kids, and grandkids live in Kansas. Other relatives live in Minnesota, California, and other places.

Even so, sometimes Keith and I find ourselves alone for some holidays as our kids have other relatives and plans. We often include my brother Paul’s widow. In fact, we sometimes invite friends over to play board games and offer snacks for supper.

I know Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve are difficult times to be alone. This may happen when someone has no family left or family too far away. Sometimes, in the case of our daughter, every other year it is her husband’s family year to have them for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Holidays can get lonely, and it is easy to slide into feeling bad and depressed.

But we don’t have to turn joyful holidays into times of sadness. One couple I know planned holidays around those who would otherwise spend holidays alone. They’d invite these individuals home and hold a regular feast.

We all have friends, acquaintances, and even family who might be alone. We can change that. We don’t have to be depressed and lonely. We can reach out to others who, for whatever reason, are spending a holiday alone. Might be a neighbor, someone from church, a family member or friend. Make an effort to reach out. Invite them to your house or make plans to meet at a restaurant. Is someone not in good health? Take them a meal and stay to visit for a while.

By looking beyond ourselves we find fulfillment and the very joy of the holiday as we reach out, deepen, or make new friendships. Thinking of others helps us take the focus off ourselves and helps us realize how blessed we truly are.

Don’t spend the holidays alone—reach out.

Kearney Hub column published 11/16/22

5/16/22 5/16/22

Blog Bio Celebrations worth effort to make positive memories

From the time we kids started school, birthdays meant having friends over for games, presents, and cake. There was the year in Wisconsin my older sister Karin was sick on her September birthday and in bed, she couldn’t have her friends over. But Mom still managed to make her birthday special. We all went upstairs to her bedroom. Karin had already gotten her first wish, which she could see out the window--snow. My parents also made sure she got her second wish--ice skates.

In Wisconsin, kids started ice skating at a very young age. Karin didn’t have her friends, but she had good wishes, cake, and skates. Mom saw birthdays as something to be celebrated. As we got older, we got to choose what we wanted for our birthday dinners. By our teens often we opted for a couple of close friends to do something special with as well as dinner and Mom’s delicious cake. In Iowa, we lived out in the country, so I opted for a friend and the family. My choice for dinner was sloppy joes and chips.

Mom loved birthdays but loved Christmas even more. She went all out baking a variety of cookies, etc. not only for our family but for an open house for those from church and from wherever we lived at any given time. She’d also make plates of cookies to give away to those unable to attend the open house. Mom provided positive memories. Once I contracted Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and was in constant pain for several years, those memories helped me focus on something good. I learned we need milestones of positive memories to look back on when life isn’t always so nice or when we’re dealing with hurt, pain, or loss.

Celebrations bring people together. Sometimes we don’t realize how important those gatherings can be. When my niece Crystal got married the family gathered. It was a great and fun day. Crystal’s Mom Jenni, Jenni’s siblings and families were all there celebrating--making memories. No one had a clue those memories would have to last a lifetime. It wasn’t long before one of her brothers passed away. That time together, eased some of the grief.

When I turned 70 on January 24th, 2020, our kids, Cassie and Chris, threw me a party at the Mitzy Pavilion Center. Family and friends gathered for pizza, cupcakes, gifts, games, and I received a special hug from my grandson Dane--who doesn’t give hugs. (Of course, he made quite a production of it, and I got pictures.) I loved it.

Keith’s Dad Jiggs was also able to attend. It was good to see him. Keith had fallen on ice in early January and had seriously damaged his ankle. He wasn’t supposed to put any weight on it at all. It meant we couldn’t go visit Dad in the home in Minden. So, it was great getting to spend time with him.

What we didn’t realize was that Covid 19 was about to hit, and we’d all be isolated. I never got to see Jiggs alive in person again. In the summer he fell, was taken to the hospital in Kearney, and, for a time, it appeared he was improving. Then he lost ground and we ended up with a funeral. I am so glad I can look back and remember him smiling and enjoying himself at my birthday.

Don’t let opportunities for celebration go by. We need the encouragement of celebrations. Since we can’t see the future, we also don’t know how important those times may turn out to be. So, take the time, to lift someone up with a celebration.

Hub column published 5/16/22 titled “Celebrations put exclamation point on life”

12/20/21 12/20/21

Blog Bio Christmas, Jesus and Santa

When I was a preschooler, my pastor father served a church in Clitherall, Minnesota. Originally, we lived in a house too small for our growing family. The church bought the bank building on main street to use as the church until they bought a church building, moving it in onto some property they owned.

The bank building became our new home. It was a beautiful red brick building with double entry doors and a fancy ceiling. Several rooms were created on one side for three bedrooms--right next to the still functioning vault, my folks were careful to keep locked. There was a room at the far end that was turned into our kitchen. It also held a large fireplace.

Since this was in the 1950s, the building had no indoor bathroom. We had an outhouse out back. But come Christmas, the fascinating aspect of our house was that fireplace. I don’t think I ever saw it lit. However, we knew the story of Santa Claus and the need for a fireplace so Santa could leave gifts.

With our Swedish heritage, Christmas was Christmas Eve for us. Early on, our folks started traditions that included Dad reading the Christmas story before we each gave thanks for our blessings. Only then did Dad hand out our gifts--one at a time so we could appreciate each one and the giver.

Back then, we did not have much, and every gift really was appreciated--mostly homemade. Our folks were careful to make sure we understood the true meaning of Christmas was Jesus coming to earth to live, and die a martyr’s death--sacrificing His life for all the wrongs we did. Then He rose again conquering death itself to offer life in Him both now and forever as we bowed before Him.

But that was Christmas Eve. My sister and I (our brother Paul was born when we lived in Minnesota and was way too young) went to bed excitedly anticipating our gifts from “Santa” the next morning. Early the next morning we rushed to the kitchen area to see what was by the fireplace. Yes. There were gifts. I remember a huge coloring book and some smaller items. It was exciting to think that Santa remembered us.

Karin was older by 3 ½ years and didn’t want me to have illusions about what Christmas was all about. “Mom and Dad actually gave us these gifts,” she told me. What! Even at my young age, I knew it was difficult for our folks to buy us gifts. And these were extra gifts--not from Santa?

Karin explained that Santa was fun, but not real. That Jesus was real and the true reason for Christmas. Some families are all in about Santa and Jesus plays only a minor role. Other families ban Santa altogether.

My folks took a different approach. They helped us realize Santa is a fun myth and allowed us to embrace that aspect of the holidays. But, they also made sure we understood the center of our celebration remained on the truth that a very real Savior did come to save and set us free for one reason--because He loved us.

What helped me put our traditions in perspective was a graphic that circulated some years ago. It was a picture of the manger, with Santa on his knees before the baby Jesus.

As the angels told the shepherds, “Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord…” Luke 2:10b-11 NKJV

Let us worship at the manger this Christmas.
Merry Christmas!

12/22/20 12/22/20

Blog Don’t let the holiday season steal your joy

The holiday season seems the perfect time for get-togethers—though this year large gatherings are discouraged. The holiday season started even before Thanksgiving, still technically autumn, though weather often indicates otherwise. All too soon Christmas arrives with New Year close behind, which brings school and church programs and, most years, family gatherings.

By the end of the holiday season, we’re are depleted physically, mentally, emotionally-- and financially.

Time to stop and ask, “What am I doing? Did I even try to say, ‘No!’ to some events I really didn’t need to attend? What did I gain for all my efforts?”

Even though the urge to get out may not be as pressing this year, there are still places to go and gifts to buy, Christmas letters to write. Even searching for gifts online takes time effort and money.

Before we exhaust ourselves we need to ask, “Were friendships begun or deepened? Were family ties strengthened or simply frazzled by the time restraints, rush, and tension?

Did I take time to spend time with my spouse, my children?
Did I take time for friends?
Did I take time to worship the very One we’re supposed to be celebrating?

How often in the mindless hustle and bustle, did I consider what others really needed? That might be time, not stress, tension and gifts quickly discarded and forgotten.

In the end, when we stress out about events and shopping and gifts we end up overwhelmed and a little resentful—though we bring it on ourselves. Do we resent time spent gift shopping for things most do not need or want? Upset that gifts kids, especially, will abandon to play with the boxes those expensive toys were in? Why? Pride, status, being a good person, parent, or friend? How foolish!

True, there is pleasure in connecting with friends or family not seen in a while, and I love exchanging greetings with those from far away and catching up with each other's lives. There is also the love that goes into just the right gift for someone special. But just-right gifts don’t have to be expensive to share your love and care.

In fact, spending more than you can afford actually takes away the joy of your find--especially once the bill arrives. Gifts are no substitute for personal contact even if that is by phone, video, Zoom, etc.

Instead of rushing headlong into the season, stop. Take stock of your finances, commitments, and time and plan accordingly, leaving time to breathe. Take time to consider the true meaning of the season--Jesus. Jesus came in the quiet of the night.

This year, let’s spend less time hurrying and worrying. Let’s spend within a budget and give priority to family--and to worshiping Christ the Savior who came to bring joy and life to all who bow not just at the manger, but also at the cross.

Most of all, choose to slow down, listen for God’s direction, and share His love with those around you. If He can sustain us the rest of the year, surely He can sustain us during the hectic holiday season—if we let Him.

It is remembering that it is in giving, not in frantic activity, we will come to know the true joy of the season.

I plan my life out a day at a time, so my posting schedule can be erratic.

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