Dream fulfilled in unexpected ways
As a kid my dream was always to have a horse. I watched My Friend Flicka and read every horse book I could find—especially the Black Stallion books. How I wanted a horse of my own! I even loved riding merry-go-round horses where I could let my imagination go.
When Dad was called to a church in Wyoming, I had visions of cowboys and cowgirls and lots of horses—my passion. What we found at the parsonage was a full-grown dog who’d’ refused to leave with the last pastor. The dog accepted us as his new family. But a huge dog was not a horse.
Before long, we met our neighbors across and down the street. Our neighbor’s son Dale owned a horse named Rocket. I could hardly hold in my excitement when I was allowed to ride the paint horse. Would I ever have a horse of my own?
It was in Kansas, my dream came true. A 4-H program had been set up with mares that were loaned to qualified 4-H participants. We had to care for and ride our horses. The point was to breed the mare. When the foal was old enough, the mare was returned to the owner.
The 4-H participant kept the foal for care and training. I was blessed to be chosen for the program.
In time, I had a beautiful gray foal prancing around the corral. I had visions of training the horse and showing it at shows or training my horse for barrel racing. That was not to be. I became ill with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and in a few months, I was filled with pain and in a wheelchair.
Now, Dad wheeled me out near the fence where I could watch my horse. How I wanted to give up. I only saw a future of pain, But I was responsible for that horse, even if I could not personally train him. I could learn all I could about horses and training. I could guide others. I could not give up.
Tonka Wakon as I named my horse helped give me the courage to keep me going when I wanted to give up. We brought Tonka with us when Dad accepted the pastorate of a church in Iowa. After high school graduation and a year of junior college, my family moved to Nebraska so I could attend what was then Kearney State College (now UNK). While I studied, my sister and brother-in-law who lived in Kansas took charge of Tonka and paid for care and training.
I knew it was coming and it hurt, but I realized I couldn’t expect my sister to bear the cost of keeping Tonka, especially since I was still in the wheelchair. The trainer had an offer for Tonka to become a polo horse if sent East. That is what we did. For years I dreamed of going out to see him, but that was not to be.
After college graduation, I had massive reconstructive surgery to walk which took all my time and effort. I did walk again. I look back and while God’s plans were very different from mine, I am thankful for having Tonka, for learning about horses, for enjoying him—even maturing enough to let him go. I look back and realize how much Tonka helped motivate me to keep going when I wanted to quit. Life often doesn’t go the way we plan, but if we live our lives with gratitude we’ll see how even the hard things can turn into blessings. One of mine was Tonka Wakon.
© 22023 Carolyn R Scheidies
Published in Kearney Hub Column 8/29/2023
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