Energy—not what it used to be
As a child, I never liked to be still. I walked. I explored the hills and valleys behind our Wyoming parsonage. For my age—elementary--I was allowed a great deal of freedom. Back then we had no cell phones. While in Minnesota and Wisconsin where my pastor father had churches we had a telephone, we had no telephone service at all where we lived in Lance Creek. We didn’t have phone service until a year or so before dad took a church in northwest Kansas.
When I was out away from the house, I was out of contact with my family. Dad taught me some basic survival skills, including what to do should I be bitten by the prevalent rattlesnake. I always carried a pocketknife. I felt the whole world was mine as I walked and explored. I had so much energy.
I had no problem when we needed to contact my dad at his church office, to walk the mile and a half—mostly up a fairly steep hill. It was steep enough that it was easier and safer to walk up beside rather than on the bike. But what a rush when zooming back down.
Only time I was still was when involved in a book. Then I heard nothing but the book.
In Kansas, I was able to temporarily care for a 4-H Saddle Horse, mine to ride, and breed. The resulting foal was mine to keep. How I enjoyed moving with the mare. My mind as well as my body needed to be active. I read, I learned history, I began writing poems, songs, and stories.
I learned about my horse and traced his ancestry. In Kansas also I got sick and was soon confined to a wheelchair, but I never gave up hope of walking again. I worked at it. But during those years, I was in pain, grew tired easily and needed to rest often.
But because I could no longer be as active physically, I used my mind. I did get better, so I was no longer so tired. I recovered enough to attend the last two years of high school. That was in Essex Iowa where we moved when dad took a church there. I graduated having been active in high school. By then I was selling my writing. I went on to college when it was KSC not UNK as it is now, and graduated with a degree in journalism.
After graduation, I had massive reconstructive surgery to walk again. I married, raised kids, and kept dealing with surgeries to keep me walking. My writing gained traction and besides articles and books, I wrote for the local paper. I was involved in church activities, kids’ activities, writing organizations, Friends of the Library and politics.
Many times, I was tired because I was very busy and involved. The kids grew up, left home, attended college, married and had kids that Keith and I enjoyed spoiling. Time marched on. I fell more with falls becoming more serious. Keith began having health problems along with me.
I’d been aggressive in my writing career—writing, researching, marketing, even speaking and more. It wasn’t until my bad fall in 2014, I realized things had changed. Even though I healed, I realized that, now, falls could be fatal. My body wasn’t as flexible, my energy sagged.
I had to accept that no matter what I did I only had so much energy in a day. That energy was a far cry from the young girl who couldn’t stay still and was always on the go. I am thankful to still be here for my kids and grandkids. They do make life worthwhile. But now my naps are longer and many things I did in the past are in the past.
I get fewer things done now and I plan more carefully in order to wisely use what time and energy I have each day. My family and my faith are priorities over my career. Reluctantly, I let go activities including a weekly church prayer bulletin and a monthly newsletter for KCWC.
My energy wanes with each year, but I can live with that because I know who holds tomorrow and know, come what may, my life today, tomorrow and forever is safely in God’s hands.
© 2024 Carolyn R Scheidies
Column published Kearney Hub 11/21/2024
For more of my story: The Day Secretariat Won the Triple Crown
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