When we first married, I had a lot on my plate. I was still recovering from massive reconstructive surgery that required intense rehabilitation to relearn how to walk. I walked down the aisle as a bride without either braces or crutches. As a bride, I concentrated on what I could do and what Keith would have to do. This was on top of learning and growing in our relationship with one another.
I knew maintaining relationships were important, including those with God, spouse, family, friends and more. We were soon involved in our church and community in a variety of ways.
I also focused on my career as a writer, spending as much time as possible writing, rewriting, studying and growing in my writing, researching for my articles, stories and books and marketing. Writers who regularly publish have to balance research and writing with finding markets for our work and submitting. A career in writing takes enormous amounts of time and energy.
When our kids came, at least until they got older, I scaled back my writing to make sure our kids got the attention and care they needed. Out of that came lots of new material for articles and books. There were times I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, especially since I continued to need further surgeries.
I was thankful for family and friends, thankful for family get-togethers and reunions. Those were “make memory” times. I learned as years zipped by that we can’t hold time in our hands. If I kept working when our kids begged me to come outside, I lost a precious moment.
Life sped by and our oldest was married with kids of his own. I knew how important it was to take the moments offered to spend time with our grandkids, letting them know we loved them. Still, Keith worked, I did have deadlines and our schedule was not always our own. With our three oldest grandkids who live in Lincoln, now teens with jobs and responsibilities, we mourn the times each summer they’d visit for a week or two.
Our daughter married. Now that she and her husband live in Omaha, we find our way there often. As seniors seeing time disappear and with my limitations and Keith’s health problems, we value our time with friends, family, kids, and grandkids in a way we never did when distracted simply with living day-to-day. Retirement for Keith has allowed us to go whenever we’re needed or when there is some event to celebrate. (My work goes with me online and with my iPad.)
We can drive to Lincoln and take our son and our oldest grandkids out to dinner. We can be in Omaha for the births and other events in the lives of our youngest two grandkids. We can even babysit, allowing Cassie and Kurt time for a breather.
While relationships have always been important, more and more I realize while career and work are important, they should never be sacrificed for time with those we care about. I am so thankful that at this time of life we have both the time, resources and energy to invest in what will make difference long after my articles and books have been forgotten. It is what Jesus lived while on earth–reaching out with love and care and time.
By Carolyn R Scheidies
Carolyn’s bio: The Day Secretariat Won the Triple Crown